Fuck, awful dream..
I dreamt Clare, an old gf of mine, was somehow moving into a house I was moving out of. It was a beautiful old terraced house. It was lovely, very light and airy inside, but I had to move out of that for some reason.
On the drive to my new house, I witnessed a dude commit a murder by the side of the road, and was scared he'd come get me. I drove off in a car really quick, and ended up at a really gorgeous big house I owned somehow, it was huge, and a U shape, with a lovely little sunny brick paved courtyard in the middle. My perfect home.
Tom Hanks was there, he was a crazed demonic madman. I had to lock him in a room in my really gorgeous house. Tom had somebody in the room with him whose head exploded all over the window glass like in a horror movie, when Hanks murdered him.
My gf J (who has been a needy pain in the ass lately), was there in the hot tub with one of my more annoying coworkers, and some others, and I had to tell her to move out, I wanted my house back, but was afraid of Hanks, so I moved out myself and was frantically trying to gather possessions from the beautiful kitchen, and put them in the back of a pickup. The mugs I remember. (I associate those with Ex, and our old kitchen.) There were a lot of people there, and I was scared for them, they wouldn't leave, but I had to leave my house, and was very sad about it, but terrified of Hanks. He would always be in that room, and it wouldn't be too long before he escaped and killed them all.
Ugh..
My anxiety about buying a new place, leaving my old one, the rage and anger I felt about leaving Ex, I guess that doesn't take a lot of interpretation, really. I have such a desire for a nice house to live in, always have. It was so hard to feel I had to leave yet another nice home. I have left 2 houses I have bought with partners now, when the relationships went south. How come other women end up with the house, and I don't??
My dream is to one day own a really lovely house like in the dream, and I remember Master telling me how stupid a dream that was to have, because nothing is permanent, and all is seeking, and attachment.
That's ok for him to say, he's always had a nice house, and now lives in a huge 5 bed place, paid for by his students!
That murderous Tom Hanks (the 'nice' guy) still lurks in me somewhere, waiting to squash people's heads, I know it.
Randomly, I was at lunch with E yesterday, and the table next to us had a guy and his small kid, and I recognized him. Couldn't place him for ever, until they were just about to leave. It was my old neighbour from Ex's house! How odd. Or not. I don't know. Do I read too much into ordinary events? Probably. I hate to be one of those people that sees 'signs' in everything! Shit happens. Old neighbours happen.
Maybe seeing him was what triggered the dream?
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