I was planning today on finishing the series about how I lost my virginity. The two posts I've already done we're pretty easy to write, but the one I was going to put up today is taking a little longer.
The one I'm writing now is special to me. Very special. I've been working on it for about four days and still can't get it just like I want. It's going to be a lot about my feelings and I've also decided to go into more explicit sexual details than I thought I would. And I'm comfortable with both the feelings part and the sexual description part.
What I've written so far just hasn't come out like I wanted. Parts of it sounded like what you might read in a Hallmark greeting card and the words just sound empty. I don't know how that happened but I do know that what I'm trying to write is very special to me and when I post it, I want to be proud of it. It just doesn't seem ready yet.
Secondly, I've gone back and forth with whether I want to be more explicit with the sexual piece of it. I don't want it to sound like I'm writing a script to a porn movie (do those things even have scripts?). What I mean is, I don't want it to come out sounding like, "And then I took his cock in my mouth and then I played with his balls and then I pinched his nipples and then I kissed his lips and then I put my tongue in his mouth and then I put one finger in his ass and then I...." I'm not writing a porn script. I'm writing about something that's very personal and meaningful to me. I want to describe what happened, why it happened like it did and what I was feeling about it.
I'm trusting you will all understand because I've read the comments people have left in other posts about how I should take my time and post things when I'm ready. I put too much pressure on myself sometimes and I'm going to do this differently. I'm determined to just slow myself down until I get it like I want. For me, it's worth the wait.
Thanks for understanding.
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