horney paper storms: Sex

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"Shopping Makes Me Horny!"

Matt hates shopping.

He's sort of okay going to the grocery store when I ask him to pick up a few items we need. He gets to chat up some of the people working there who've gotten to know him, plus he's able to get in the store, do his business, and leave.

He doesn't particularly like going with me when I do our regular grocery shopping because I like taking my time and he's more of an "in and out" guy (I'm talking about shopping here folks, not what just popped in your head! LOL).

But shopping for clothes? Get him within a mile of the mall and he breaks out in a sweat, his eyes widen, he looks over at me with a sad panic face, and starts this quiet, low guttural sound that comes out something like, "Nnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooo." You're witnessing a "Matty-whine." ;-)

I've learned to just ignore the whine, which is a little hard for me because there's a certain cuteness in how he does it.

His whining is more of a release of energy than anything else. He's learned there are certain things that just need to be done and that cute whine just makes me grin. He must have never learned how to make whininess work to his advantage. It just comes out adorable.

Then he'll change tactics and puff out his chest in an Alpha Male move. He tries to get a little worked up when he does this, not in an aggressive way because that's not in his nature with me. I just stare in his eyes for a few seconds and he settles down. All bark, no bite. Brad's gonna win. Let's move on.

So we had to wait to the last minute to do our "back-to-school" clothes shopping, but we finally went this past weekend. I knew he wouldn't take much time selecting what he needed because he always says, "I know my sizes so I just have to grab some pants and shirts and head to the cashier. Meet you in five minutes?" Sigh.

Needless to say, I use up five minutes just walking around getting oriented to how they lay out the clothes. I don't like to rush and there's actually something kind of relaxing to me about taking my time.

Maybe I worry too much about what people think, but I like to try on the pants, see if they fit just right, hold up some different shirts to see how they match, imagine what kind of impression or image I'm giving off, and then return to the shelves, put back the pants and shirts I didn't like, and find some new ones to try on.

Where's Matt during all this time? I know it's boring to just stand still outside the changing room while I'm mixing and matching and trying to decide what I like. I get that. So he usually takes off exploring the rest of the store to keep his mind occupied. He's been known to walk zombie-like into the bra section (curious about how Bra-llelujah sales are going! LOL), bath accessories (where he's trying out all the bath scales), baby clothes, and fine jewelry.

Since he doesn't have any interest in purchasing anything, he has to be careful not to look suspicious. One time store security started shadowing him and I guess they thought he was casing the joint!

So when he finished exploring all the different departments, he came back to the changing room, found me, and I asked his opinion on my selections thus far. I already knew what he was going to say. It's kind of a ritual we go through, I guess. "Yeah, I like that." "Mmm hmm, that looks good." "Yep. Nice."

I still wasn't finished so he said he was going in the mall to find some places to grab a snack and coffee for later. After that was accomplished, he took off to find all the electronic stores where they have new gadgets and tried a few.

After a while he needed a new kind of entertainment, so he found out where the televisions were and went to see if there was a sports game or to talk to the sales people about the advantages of Plasma vs LCD when it comes to HDTV. He loves that kind of detail.

Then he came and found me to let me know he'd be waiting for me in the Starbucks. I always make sure to pack his Kindle so he can read or watch a movie, and of course he has his cell phone so he can check emails and chat with friends. I returned to my shopping.

When I finally got everything I wanted, I met him at Starbucks and he got up and ordered my coffee just the way he knows I like it. In addition, I got treated to a surprise snack with a generous amount of chocolate.

We chatted for a while and then I took some of my new clothes out of the bags and showed him what I got. His eyes started glazing over after about two minutes, so I asked him what he bought (in his five-minute shopping spree).

"Can I show you when we get home? Have you finished your coffee?" That's my signal it's time to go.

"Are you tired?" I ask.

"I'm horny."

"What?"

"Shopping makes me horny."

"Shopping makes you horny?" I ask. This is a new one on me.

"Yeah. Just thinking about you taking off your clothes and picturing you in the changing room in just your underwear. Are you ready to go?"

I'm just staring at him with a slight grin.

"Need some help with your bags?" he says as he gets up.

"Sure. Let me make certain my new underwear is in one of these bags."

"You got new underwear?"

"Yep. Wanna see me model it when we get home?"

"Let's go."

We made it home in record time but I didn't get to model it for him. We only got as far as the living room. And I only got as far as taking off the underwear I had on.

He was definitely right when he said shopping made him horny. In the future I might have an easier time convincing him to go clothes shopping with me.

Sex, Final Exams, and First Things First

The Setting:
Our bedroom

The Time:
Yesterday morning, 5:00 AM

Brad: Matty. Matty, wake up.

Matt: Hmmmm?

Brad: Wake up.

Matt: What?

Brad: Wake up.

Matt: What? What's wrong?

Brad: We need to study.

Matt: Hmmmmm?

Brad: We need to study. You promised last night.

Matt: I did? What time is it?

Brad: Five o'clock.

Matt: Oh God. Let's sleep a little later.

Brad: Come on. Get out of bed.

Matt: Let's cuddle some more.

Brad: Then we won't get any studying done. Come on.

Matt: Yes we will. I promise.

Brad: I'm going in the dining room to get started. Come on.

Matt: I'll be there in a minute.

Brad: Okay. One minute.

Matt: Mmmmmm. Thank you sweetie.

Brad: (5 minutes later, standing by the bed) Matty!

Matt: Hmmmmm? What time is it?

Brad: Are you going to get up?

Matt: (checking under the covers with a sleepy grin) I'm "up." Come see.

Brad: If we study for one hour, we can come back to bed and play.

Matt: But you don't understand. I can't study if I'm horny.

Brad: That's not true. You're always horny and you still study.

Matt: (snickering) That's low.

Brad: But I can't get horny until we get some studying done.

Matt: That's not how it works, sweetie. That's all backwords. Come back to bed.

Brad: {sighing...} Please. Get. Your. Butt. Out. Of. Bed.

Matt: Mmmmmmmm. I like it when you talk like that.

Brad: What are you talking about?

Matt: I like it when you talk about my butt.

Brad: Matthew!

Matt: What?

Brad: You're stalling for time. Will you please come study with me?

Matt: Mmmmmmmm. How can I when you keep talking dirty?

Brad: What?

Matt: First you talk about me being "up," then you talk about my butt, then you talk about coming. How can I study when you keep talking dirty?

Brad: Move over.

Matt: Mmmmmm. Now we have things in the right order.

Enlarge Your Manhood!

There's a feature on Blogger where you can use a filter to try and stop spam from ending up on your blog. We use to use it but I turned it off a few months ago. Not sure why... I like to tinker around with gadgets sometimes when I'm bored (see it's Brad's fault.. if he would keep me entertained, then this kind of thing wouldn't happen!)

We haven't gotten much spam but there's been a few things popping up in the comments section. One was an advertisement for Maybelline mascara and if you clicked the link you could get a free sample. I deleted that comment and then told Brad about it and he got mad at me. "You could have at least gotten the sample. That stuffs expensive!" I can never win those kind of arguments so I just said I was sorry.

I tried to go back and find the deleted Maybelline comment, which was pretty easy to do, but when I tried to figure out how to restore the comment, I accidentally clicked some button and then the "Comments" screen blinked four or five times and then went totally blank! Totally blank. White screen. Nothing on it! It looked like I had deleted every single comment ever left by anybody since we started the blog! Almost 4,000 comments lost! Gone out into cyberspace somewhere.

I just wailed, "Nooooooooooooooooooo! Oh my God!!!!"

Brad was in the other room and started screaming, "Matty!!! What's the matter?" as he was running into the room. He thought I had hurt myself (again) and started checking to see if there was any blood on the floor or spurting out of my body anywhere.

He just looked at me and said, "What's the matter? What happened? Are you okay?" I looked at him and said, "I lost your Maybelline. I can't believe it. I lost your Maybelline and all the comments, too!"

I felt like crying. Just crying.

I finally calmed down enough to explain what happened and he sat down and did a few clicks and got everything restored. I am no longer allowed to tinker with the blog innards unless he's there. Which I agreed to. I don't even want to know what he did to restore things because it'll just make me more curious about Blog Innards and that can be a dangerous thing. Brad is now the Official Blog Innards Webmaster! I'm am now his Lowly Servant. And gladly! Don't need that stress, believe me!

Well, we got another spam comment yesterday. Guess what it was for?

PERMANENTLY ENLARGE YOUR MANHOOD!

Get Incredible Gains While You Sleep.

Wake up to 3 to 4 additional inches!

Pictures and Testimony from Satisfied Studs!

Click here to satisfy your partner!

So I'm sitting there reading this.

My hands are off the keyboard.

The highlighted link is staring at me.

My fingers start to twitch.

I'm starting to get lightheaded.

My heart starts pounding.

What damage can I do by clicking a link?

Brad's in the kitchen.

I'm sitting there staring at the link that will take me to pictures of "Satisfied Studs."

What's a boy to do, I ask you?

"Matty! Can you come here a sec?"

I have this startle response like I've been caught doing something wrong. Takes me a few seconds to blink my eyes and get myself back to where I am.

"Be right there."

I get to the kitchen and Brad's rolling out some dough for a pie he's making.

"Can you turn the dial on the stove to "simmer" and stir the filling for about 30 seconds?"

I look at the stove like it's an alien monster and make my slow approach.

"Are you okay?"

"What?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine."

I turn the dial to simmer and pick up the wooden spoon and start stirring.

"You know, we need more counter space."

"What?"

"We need more counter space. I don't have enough space to spread things out. Think maybe sometime we could enlarge the counter space?'"

"Enlarge the counter?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, we could enlarge the counter."

Brad keeps looking at me while I'm stirring. I can see him out of the corner of my eye.

When I finish I head back to the dining room and slowly look at the computer screen. "Enlarge Your Manhood!" It's like a message from outer space. Like some alien is hypnotizing me. Taking control of my mind.

To click, or not to click. That is the question.

"Matty?"

I just about jump out of my seat! Brad's standing behind me and I turn to look at him and he's looking from me to the screen and back to me.

I slide over in my chair so he can see the screen.

He very slowly moves the laptop in his direction, out of my reach, and very slowly closes the top.

He's now staring at me with this little boy grin on his face and reaches for my hands.

"Baby, we don't need some product to 'expand your manhood'. Just watch."

Every thing's under control in the kitchen and he leads me to the bedroom.

An hour later, while I'm taking a shower to clean up, Brad goes to the computer and deletes the "Satisfied Studs" spam comment. After all, he's the Official Blog Innards Webmaster.

I think he also put the spam filter back on. No need for any outside help with Increasing our Manhood. We get that for free.

So I'm off to the store now for his Maybelline mascara and some eyeliner. That we still have to pay for!

A Valentine to Remember

We've shared some of Sammy's poetry here (always with her permission, even though she says when she gives it to us, it's a gift and ours to use however we like). If you remember from last week, we thought it would be fun to ask for some ideas about different sexual role plays for after our Valentine's Day date. Sammy posted a short description of her idea (you can see what she wrote on the February 16th post), and then she sat down and expanded on it. What you see here is an incredibly well-written and sizzling hot short story. We wanted to share it with all of you, but be forewarned... have a fan close by so you can cool down or get ready to jump in a cold shower to get your body temperature back to normal! Thank you, Sammy!

A Valentine to Remember
... for Matty and Bradley
by Sammy

Bradley shrugged on his coat and walked toward the main doors of the restaurant. I can’t believe Matt just left me here. How could I have gotten this so wrong? I mean the guy seemed so into me — Jesus, he even left that damn baseball cap of his at home for the night. Although him, naked, wearing nothing but that cap…god, why couldn’t that have been the way this night ended!

Bradley reached down to adjust himself; the zipper of his Tuxedo pants had begun to dig into his rapidly growing erection. The little lacy red thong he had put on earlier in the evening was doing nothing to protect his aching cock. After hours of begging his sister, she had gone and purchased the underwear for him — just so he could surprise Matt tonight.

Matt had confessed just a week before that he often fantasized about seeing Bradley in sexy underwear and Bradley had grabbed onto that with both hands—well, both cheeks, so to speak! Guess I won’t be showing off that little surprise tonight! Instead here I am going home…alone…in a rented limo. Damn…just damn!

The limo was sitting idling curbside. With a sigh, Bradley pulled open the back door and bent down to get in the back seat. Huh? The light must be out ... funny it was working fine earlier this evening. Thinking that he should probably tell the driver, Bradley began to turn in his seat, moving to get out of the limo to go up front and speak to the guy when he felt his wrists being grabbed and shoved behind his back.

Quick as lightening, he felt the rope slip around them and cinch tight. What the hell?? Bradley began to struggle trying to pull away from the man who had grabbed him and now had one arm firmly around his waist forcing him up against the intruder’s chest. Suddenly Bradley felt a warm, wet tongue slowly gliding up the side of his neck causing a shiver to run down his spine. Two soft lips wrapped around his earlobe as sharp teeth bit gently into his flesh, causing a moan to escape from Bradley’s mouth.

Bradley felt the hot breath flow down his damp neck as the man spoke, whispering into his ear: "Your mine baby, all mine. There's no sense in struggling. I have you right where I want you and before this night is over you're going to be begging me to never let you go.”

Bradley felt the power of that voice all the way down to his toes. He thought he should open his mouth, scream for help. He needed help, didn’t he? For some reason, Bradley couldn’t shake off the heat of lust that seemed to crowd his thoughts.

He tried once more to open his mouth to speak. He heard a breathy chuckle as the man spoke: “Oh don't bother calling for help. The driver won’t be of any assistance. It just so happens he is on the company payroll. Damn, I must have forgotten to mention that this is a company limo — my company limo.”

And with that, Bradley felt the man’s lips close on the soft flesh right below his ear and begin to caress it with his tongue, sucking and licking, pulling up a mark on his neck. Bradley moaned once more, all thoughts of struggling to escape falling far, far away.

"I watched you all night long. Every time those lips of yours wrapped around that wineglass I imagined them wrapping around my cock, just like this.” Bradley felt a hand caress his cock, causing his hips to thrust upward against the hot hand as if begging for more. Once again a husky laugh echoed through the cab of the limo.

As the hand continued to caress his traitorous flesh, Bradley felt the hard thrust of the man’s cock against his thigh. Jesus, the man was huge … and hard as nails. “Can you feel what you do to me baby?" The man wrenched Bradley’s face back toward his, taking him in a hard and fast kiss. Pulling back just slightly, Bradley felt the man’s hot tongue slip out and gently lick across his lips causing Bradley’s mouth to open just wide enough for it to slip inside.

As he thrust over and over into Bradley’s mouth, his hand stroked with increasing pressure on Bradley’s cock, up and down, in and out until Bradley felt his eyes roll back in his head as waves of pleasure crashed into him over and over.

With a whimper, Bradley felt the man pull back slightly. His glazed eyes came to rest on the man’s face, only faintly discernible in the darkening gloom of the back seat. The man smiled and his teeth gleamed white as he ran his tongue over them, reminding Bradley of a vampire about to ravish his next victim.

“Do you know what I’m going to do to you when I get you home, pretty boy?” Bradley shook his head, fighting back yet another whimper. “I’m going to suck that luscious cock of yours until you scream my name over and over again.”

Bradley closed his eyes, unable to stifle the moan that escaped as the image of that hot mouth wrapped around his cock flashed into his mind. Once more a hot wet tongue caressed his neck, gliding slowly up across his chin and pushing against his lips, seeking entrance. Like a wild man, Bradley drew that tongue into his mouth, sucking and pulling while bucking up against the hand that still caressed his hard cock. Bradley lost all control moaning into the man’s mouth and saying over and over again, “yes, yes, fuck me, oh god, please fuck me”.

As the limo pulled up to the front of Bradley and Matty’s house, Matty chuckled softly one last time and said, “Lover, your wish is my command. Happy Valentine’s day, baby.” Bradley pulled back and said, “You, me, inside, naked, with just the cap…NOW!” Matty smiled…and obeyed.

Since we spent Valentine's Day with two of our very special friends, Matty wanted to do something really special for just the two of us. He asked me out on a date (I love that we still go out on dates). He made reservations for dinner at one of the fancy-schmancy hotel restaurants in downtown Boston for Saturday night.

It's one of those hotels where you have to wear a suit to get within 50 yards of the hotel entrance, and it's where the President and celebrities often stay when they're in Boston overnight. The restaurant obviously has a dress code so Matty has to leave his sneakers and Red Sox cap at home, which he's (reluctantly) agreed to do!

And we just found out that our friends, Mark and John, want to contribute to this slightly-delayed Valentine's Day celebration! They both chipped in and arranged for us to have a stretch limo arrive at our house to take us to the hotel restaurant and return us home! Can you believe that?

When I was thinking about dressing up for the evening, I thought it would be cute for both of us to wear red ties, or ties that had red as the dominant color. You know, since this was our special Valentine's Day celebration. Matty thought it would be a little over the top and said his Red Sox cap had red in it, and why couldn't he wear that instead. I was not amused, though he was amused that I was not amused!

He agreed, of course, to leave the baseball cap at home and called his brother to borrow a tie that has some red in it. I was going to pick up a solid red tie for myself, but then K.Z. Snow left a comment on yesterday's post and suggested a bow tie. Well, I've never worn a bow tie before, but I love the idea. So guess what, K.Z.? I'm getting a red bow tie to wear! But I'll have on more clothes than this dude--------->

I also wanted both of us to wear a small red rose boutonniere, which I'm still trying to talk Matty into. I mean, this is a special occasion and I like the idea of a red rose, which is a universal symbol of love. Even more than a red tie, red bow tie, or Red Sox cap! Right?

So Matty came up with the idea of buying just me a red rose boutonniere to wear and said it would be his private and secret way of "marking" me as his.

I'm still thinking about this, but there's something incredibly sexy and hot about his wanting me "marked" as belonging to him. Silly, maybe, but it's kind of a hot, sexy idea that gets me turned on.

It would be something just the two of us would know about, and I guess I'd be sitting there feeling all special. And it was Matty's idea. I figure since I came up with the idea of wearing red ties, he could get to pick how he wanted to "mark" me as belonging to him.

So here's where we'd like your help and suggestions. When we get home from dinner, we want to have some kind of hot erotic sexual role play. Sometimes we like to think up different role plays when we have sex. It's incredibly sexy to step out of our usual ways of making love and come up with some different sexual "scenes" to add a little spice to things. We've had some of our hottest sex when we role played different scenarios.

You can only imagine what we did for Halloween. You might remember I played Little Red Riding Hood (hmmm, there's that color "red" again!), and Matty played the Big Bad Wolf, all growly and full of animal passion! Whew!

We want to think of something really different this Saturday night and we want to use some of the themes we're discussing here. For example, Matty gets to pretend he's a Red Sox baseball player (where he gets to finally wear his baseball cap) and I could be the Bat Boy. He's always said he likes my "bat and balls," so that might work!

Or maybe we could go a little slutty and pretend we're still in that fancy hotel where we had dinner. He could again pretend to be some famous baseball player, or a porn star visiting Boston, and he could call for room service, and moi could arrive bringing him some delicious "dessert" from the kitchen (and since I'm planning on being a chef, that might be fun for me). Or he could call for a Rent Boy (moi) or I could be the hotel "Special Services Erotic Masseuse." Get the idea?

So, what do you think? Help us with ideas for some really different sexual role plays that may not be what you would call "standard" ones. All the erotic trappings you can think of thrown in. Or even something simple that would be erotically high-charged.

We need your help, and hope you have a little fun coming up with some ideas. You can contribute one idea, or as many as you like. We might even have a little fun picking and choosing from different ones!

And we might even tell you next week what we did, if you ask nicely!

Candy Canes and Blow Jobs

One of the things both of us love about doing this blog is reading the comments people leave.

Sometimes we've written about some painful things in our past (Brad's relationship with his dad and his dad's problems with drinking, my getting ganged up on by some guys at school and being kicked and called horrible names about being gay) and sometimes we've written about celebrations (finishing the semester at school or moving in together).

No matter what we write about, we can always count on people to make really supportive and heartfelt comments when we write about difficult things, or laugh with us about funny things that happen (like that Spotted Dick in a can!).

Those comments everybody left about me successfully finishing the first semester at college mean more to me than you'll ever know. I've been going back to reread those and always feel proud of myself for that accomplishment.

You guys also bear with me when I'm rambling or when my writing is all over the place. I'm getting better at not being so hard on myself because of how accepting you are of me.

Sometimes the comments take twists and turns away from what the original post was about. For example, I'll jump in sometimes and share a little more about what's happening in the moment, or Brad will add his thoughts. It's almost like having a live conversation sometimes and we thoroughly enjoy that.

This is sorta what happened in that post last week about me finishing my first semester at school (College Boy Survives!). Brad and I jumped in the comment section the next day and talked some about what happened at the restaurant the night before. We also jumped in and talked about how we were decorating the house with our very first Christmas tree and putting up mistletoe, which was slowing down everything with all the smooching going on under all those sprigs!

So we got up this morning and got an email notification that a few more comments had been left under that post. We wanted to put the comment left by Adara here since most people may have missed it. It's actually given us some ideas that relate to the title of this post. Well, here's what Adara said:

Adara said...
You should hang things besides mistletoe up around the house and make a different 'action' for each one. Much more interesting that way.
You know: pass a santa, get a blowjob.
Or: If it's holly instead of mistletoe, you 69.
;)

Well, in addition to thanking you for the idea, Adara, we've decided to play around with the whole thing and make it one of our new Christmas traditions!

Since decorating is one of Brad's specialties, he's deciding what kind of things to put up around the house. We're really having a lot of fun with this, and here's what we've come up with so far:

He found some artificial candy canes like this and has them hanging at various places around the house. Well, what do those "erect" things remind you of, huh? So, when one of us passes by one of those "stiff" things, that person gets a blowjob! Brad says the only problem with this plan is that he won't be able to get anything done around the house, like his baking or other things. He says I won't be getting my things done either, since he has this funny notion that I'll just be making the rounds all day from one candy cane to the other. Geez, does he really think I don't take my responsibilities around the house seriously? Or that I have sex on my mind all the time? Oh wait, don't answer that question! ;)

We're still trying to decide what standing under the mistletoe might lead to or what we might put up that would mean it's time for a little frisky play in the bedroom or some other room in the house.

I personally think there should be something that means one of us wants to top or one of us wants to bottom. And, of course, there should be something to mean we do this standing up, bending over, on our back or on our stomach!

Then there can be something that means we do it in the bedroom, on the kitchen counter, in the shower, by the fireplace, under the dining room table.... well, you get the picture!

Somehow I think this is one tradition we may have to make year round! After the decorations come down after the holidays, there's always what should happen when one of us passes by a lamp, the coffee table, a chair, the dishwasher. Oh wait, hmmmmmm. I think we already have something like that going on already. We just didn't call it a tradition! LOL!

Anyway, thanks Adara, for the idea. I'll never look at a candy cane the same way again!

The Virgin Chronicles: A Pearl (part 3)

NOTICE: Just so everyone knows, this post includes sexually explicit and graphic language.

In today's post I decided to tell things a little differently from the past two. I think it was pretty obvious from what I wrote yesterday that both Brad and I lost our virginity that night.

Over the past few weeks I've been thinking some about what is exactly involved when a gay guy looses his virginity. Did I technically lose my virginity at the exact moment when I fucked Brad? Most people would say it's pretty obvious that Brad lost his at that moment. But what about me? Was it when I penetrated him or was it when he penetrated me? And why does any of this matter? In the whole scheme of things it probably doesn't matter at all. I've just been thinking about it because of writing these posts.

Maybe I'm just over thinking everything (which I have a tendency to do anyway), but I don't think there's anything wrong in that. It's just been something kinda interesting to think about (at least to me).

If you think about straight guys losing their virginity, there's probably nothing to ponder, right? I guess most people would say it's when they fuck a girl, you know, when they have vaginal (or maybe anal) intercourse with a girl. When they penetrate.

But with gay guys, some are only tops and some are only bottoms. And some switch and do both. In talking to some of my gay friends three of them have
said they have absolutely no desire to ever bottom. They've just never had any desire to be fucked (by which I mean to be the bottom).

And I have two friends who only want to bottom. They have no desire to ever be the top. And I have some friends who say they just "go with the flow" and do whatever they're in the mood for at the moment.

For me, I had been dreaming and thinking about having sex with another guy ever since puberty started. Of course I never knew about all the different ways you could have sex. In the beginning all I was thinking about was wanting to look at naked guys, hold hands, kiss. I think that was all it meant to me. That's what I would fantasize about when I would jerk off.

When all those hormones started flowing it seemed like they never turned off. It was like I was horny at least 23 hours a day. I have no idea what it's like for girls so I don't know if it's the same for them as it is for guys. And to be truthful, I have no idea if being horny 23 hours a day is typical for other guys. All I can say is it was typical for me.

Of course, that whole "23 hour" thing is just a humorous exaggeration on my part to make the point that it felt like it was always on my mind around the clock. When I hit puberty I remember it never took much for me to get a hard-on. Sometimes I'd just be sitting at my desk in class trying to get ahead on my homework for the next day. I might be concentrating on trying to remember the date the Constitution was ratified and just like that, out of the blue, I would realize my dick was hard. I was never even aware it was starting to gradually get hard until after it was there. A full hard-on was sitting in my underwear! Just like that.

As I got older I started making up all these fantasies about what it would be like to kiss another guy and do other things. Then what it would be like to stand in front of a naked guy and just look at his body, front and back. Then what it would be like to touch him all over and do other things, like jerk him off and have him jerk me off.

When other guys at school would try to be "cool" (which should really be translated as "cruel"), they would sometimes make all these comments about how a particular boy (usually somebody skinny or shy or different in some way) really wanted to be fucked in the ass. Or how they really wanted to suck another boy's dick.

So naturally I began thinking about what all this meant. I mean, getting fucked in the ass, huh? Well, that got my attention (and interest). Then I started thinking about what it would be like to fuck another guy's ass. And that got me even more excited. So my fantasy life was really expanding. I remember thinking about some cute guys I'd love to fuck in the ass. That's what I started thinking about more than anything else. Why? I have no idea. All I know is thinking about fucking another guy's ass seemed to always play center stage for me.

That night in Newport I remember wanting so badly to fuck Brad, meaning be the top. When I got out of bed to get the lube that was still on the table, I returned to the bed and Brad was lying on his stomach. We hadn't talked about who would be the top or the bottom, but it was pretty obvious what Brad had in mind. And, to be honest, I couldn't have been more excited and turned on by that.

Needless to say, there was more to the whole thing than I had imagined. It was obvious that even with the lube, Brad was having a difficult time relaxing and the very last thing I ever wanted was to hurt him physically. In my earlier fantasies, going through puberty, I thought when I was able to finally fuck a guy, it would be a pretty simple thing. You just stuck your dick in the guy's ass and started fucking away. In the fantasies, you just kept doing that until you came in his ass.

Real life fucking for the first time was a lot more complicated. At first there was pain involved and you really had to take your time. This was not going to happen and be over with in 10 minutes. We both had to talk to each other while this was happening and I needed to be aware of how to make it easier for him and ultimately pleasurable. Whenever he would wince or tighten up or would make a sound that it was hurting or ask me to stop and rest, it just about killed me knowing it was hurting him.

I've written before about how slowing myself down has always been difficult, especially when my brain is revving. That night, however, something different happened. It required no effort on my part to slow down. This was too special a night and my first concern was how to make this enjoyable for Brad.

I almost started crying when I heard how painful it was for him at the beginning. This became, however, one of those rare moments in my life when it took no effort on my part to slow myself down. I remember thinking we might have to delay the whole thing and try again at a later date. That would have been fine by me. Whenever this was going to happen, we both had to experience it as pleasurable and something really special and precious.

I think the first time getting fucked (or being the bottom) is probably the most difficult, or at least it gets a little easier each time. As you remember from yesterday's post, we took all the time we needed and it ended up being even better than I could have imagined.

After thinking about all this for a while, being the top means a couple of things to me. From a purely physical standpoint, there is this incredible sensation that goes all through my body when I'm inside Brad. It's tight and is absolutely nothing like the feeling I get when using my hand to jerk myself off. I like being able to go fast, slow, gentle or even a little rougher. It's such a turn on waiting to see how Brad is responding. Or I can do this "teasing" thing by pulling out and waiting a few seconds before going back in. It not only gives me a physical high but it's also about seeing how he's experiencing pleasure that is such a turn on for me.

The other thing this all means to me is a little harder to describe. When I come inside him I know I'm giving him something my body has made and just knowing it's inside him is like an incredibly intimate thing. It's like even after I pull out, I'm still inside him. Just knowing I'm giving him that is so, so special to me. This may sound a little corny but it's almost like I'm giving him some of my masculine energy or masculinity.

During that night in Newport, without even giving it much thought, I knew right then I wanted to experience what Brad had. To be honest, I wasn't doing much "thinking" at the time and what you're reading here is me looking back on the whole night. All I remember is that I wanted Brad to fuck me.

I'd be repeating myself to describe the whole thing over again. My getting fucked happened in a very similar way that it did for Brad. How he got my ass ready. How painful it was at first. How it became less painful the more I relaxed. You can reread what I wrote yesterday and you'll get the idea.

Since we've been together, Brad prefers to bottom probably 95% of the time. I guess you can figure out where that leaves me. And you know what? It couldn't be a more perfect arrangement for us.

I have no memory of what time it was when we finally drifted off to sleep that night (or rather morning). Before we fell asleep, Brad remembered that bottle of non-alcoholic wine he picked up at the pharmacy. He got out of bed to get the bottle and two of those cheap, clear plastic cups they give you in motels. The bottle was room temperature and he added a few cubes of ice to the cups and poured us both a glass.

My parents had let me take sips of real wine at dinner before but this non-alcoholic stuff was, well, I hate to spoil the moment, but it was like what I imagine sewage tasting like. Did either of us say that or make a disgusting face when we took a sip? Nope. Not on your life. I think we were both thinking the exact same thing because we took just one really tiny sip and put the plastic cups back on the table. When we woke up the next morning, whatever was in that bottle went down the drain!

Oh, what was the toast we made? It was just something simple like, "To us. Forever." I remember at the time thinking those words were the most original and creative toast ever made in the history of the world!

Before we fell asleep, Brad decided to give me a name like I had done for him earlier. Again, I'll put it in dialogue form:

Brad: "So, I have a new name for you."

Me: "What's that?"

Brad: "My Pearl. You're my Pearl."

Me: "Nice. Why 'Pearl'?"

Brad: "Well, if a pearl comes out right, it's something that's perfect and lasts forever. And it's a thing of real beauty."

Me: "That's sweet. You're my Dove and I'm your Pearl."

Brad: "You don't think that's silly, do you?"

Me: "No. Not silly at all. A Dove means 'peace' and a Pearl means "forever.' That's not silly at all."

Brad: "You forgot to say a pearl is perfect and beautiful."

Me: "Okay. Forever... perfect... and beautiful."

Brad: "I like that."

Me: "Me too."

Brad: "Good night."

Me: "Good night."

I hope you guys enjoyed this. It gave Brad and I a chance to remember and relive a very special night.

The Virgin Chronicles: A Dove (part 2)

NOTICE: Just so everyone knows, this post includes sexually explicit and graphic language.

I have to be honest and say that when we finally got in the room and it was just the two of us, I had this weird feeling I never remembered having before. Neither one of us was very talkative at first. We just looked around the room for a second and I think I said something corny like, "It's nice."

We shut the door, and Brad put our bag of goodies on this round table and we just looked around the room for a second. Brad had this slight grin on his face and neither of us was saying a thing until he finally just looked at me like this little boy and said, "Hi."

Well, that broke the ice and we both started laughing. We then held each other, and if I remember right, started swaying a little bit, kind of like we were doing this slow dance.

I held him out from me a little ways so I could face him and just take in his sweet face. In some ways it felt so familiar but in another way it was really awkward. I think I said something really unromantic like, "So... Here we are."

There was no doubt about the fact that I was really nervous. Again, Brad saved the day. He took my hand and said, "Matty, why don't we just sit down on the bed a minute."

As soon as that happened, we started kissing and, of course, fell over on the mattress while we kissed and held each other for a while.

We then decided to take a shower, but not together. I think we both knew what would happen if we showered together. In spite of how nervous and awkward I was feeling, I was also super horny. We both were. That was pretty obvious while we were on the bed kissing. We had been doing some pretty heavy kissing and groping and I swear I was harder than I'd ever been before. At least that's how it felt. I was really worried about one of those spontaneous orgasms happening before I was ready. I wanted to save that for a little later.

And you know what else I was thinking? Before we did anything I wanted the chance to read the "instructions" on the lube box. I know. I know. My brain was going from the romantic to the practical and back again. So, yeah. I was nervous. But I thought there might be one of those instruction sheets you find sometimes like inside a box of cough medication.  I know. I know. Don't say it. And quit laughing! It ought to be pretty obvious that you just squirt some of that stuff where you want it and do your thing. But I was already nervous about things going right and wanted everything to be just right, you know?

Plus, it was getting late and my LAP meds ("Little Attention Pills" for any new readers) start wearing off in the evening. So this was another worry I had. I mean, I can look back now and see the humor in all this. But, hey, I had never had full-on sex and ADHD at the same time! Like, I didn't want my brain to start spazzing out because there was too much going on. I really, really wanted to focus. I wanted this night to be special.

So, I suggested that Brad take his shower first and this would give me the chance to study the lube box or that instruction sheet that must be inside.

When he came out of the shower, he had a towel around his waist and was using another towel to dry his hair. He looked so beautiful and I know my mouth went completely dry because I couldn't say a word. And I swear to God I thought I was going to cream my pants right then! Right then and there. Sitting at that table with the lube instructions in my hands. Not a pretty sight, right?

I just got up, went over to him, and gave him a kiss. He turned me toward the bathroom and just said, "Okay. Your turn." I smiled back and said, "I'll be right out. Just stay here, okay?" I swear to God I actually said that! "Just stay here, okay?" Like he was planning on going anywhere. So, yeah, my mind was already revving. But he didn't embarrass me by pointing how I was stumbling over my words and saying silly stuff. He just smiled and said, "Go take your shower."

When I got out of the shower he had his boxers on and was lying on the bed with his arms clasped behind his head. He was looking at me and all he said was, "I'm still here." I grinned when I saw the bulge in his boxers and just said, "Yeah, I can see that."

He already had all the lights turned off except for the one lamp by the bed and it was one of those that has a dimmer, so the room had gone from this bright commercial motel room to something that was a lot more relaxed.

Before I hit the bed, Brad motioned me over and undid the towel around my waist. I reached over and slid his boxers down and joined him in the bed. It's always fun to see how our dicks somehow point out in different directions. His points straight up against his tummy and mine points out straight ahead.

Well, I was on top of him before I knew it and we were kissing and making out like it was our very first time. I mean, totally enjoying every second. It was the first time I felt this incredible freedom to see all his body and kiss and taste every inch of him.

We both went from some really incredible kissing to sucking each other's cock and back to the mouth. Judging from all the moaning going on and how our bodies were grinding against each other, it was pretty obvious we were both about ready to come. I don't know who was the first, but it seemed like we both came at the same time. Brad was on his back and I was on top of him. Our kissing was pretty intense and almost rough and our hands were all over each other. Then it happened that our cocks emptied out all the cum there was inside while we were still grinding against each other.

We just kept holding each other really tight for a while, and then I raised up a little and straddled him. All the cum that was on our chests and stomachs was obviously all mixed together. I used my fingers to take some of the cum, both mine and Brad's together, and tasted it. Then I took some more with my fingers and Brad got his taste. Then we kissed each other for a while and enjoyed this incredibly new taste. It's hard to describe but it felt like we were sharing each other's body in a completely new way.

Well, since things were pretty sticky all over, I went to the bathroom and came back with some warm water wash cloths and towels so we could clean up.

It was one of those times when neither of us had a whole lot of words to say to each other. We just held each other for a while, kissed some more, and went back to holding on to each other. Any kind of sex, or I guess I should say, any kind of sexual release, always makes me feel drained and sleepy. I think under ordinary circumstances we both would have probably just fallen asleep at this point, in each other's arms, and had the most restful sleep in our lives. But we both knew there was more to come and there was no way we were going to sleep at this point.

We took a break to not only enjoy what had just happened but also to give our bodies time to do their thing in getting ready for what was to come. It's not like we were just counting the minutes before we were able to come again, but more like we were just enjoying not talking with words and letting our embrace and kisses say everything there was to say. I had never communicated with another person like this before, and I wanted to savor every bit of it.

It might have been maybe 20 or 30 minutes later since I wasn't watching the clock, but at some point I got out of bed and walked over to the table to get one of the tubes of lube. I also picked up the towel that was on the floor beside the bed.

When I got back under the covers, Brad was already on his tummy and I just softly ran my hands from his hair, his neck, his shoulders, down his spine and rested for a while on both cheeks of his beautiful, full, ripe ass. I think I may have run my hands down each of his legs, but they kept coming back to his ass. So, so smooth. So, so full. Just beautiful.

He lifted up a few inches and I was able to reach under between his legs and play with his balls and then his cock. It was obvious he was going to lose his virginity first. And, believe me, that was what I was hoping for.

I spread his ass cheeks and the light was bright enough that I could see his hole. I swear I think I could have had one of those spontaneous orgasms right then and there.

I got the lube and remembered all the complicated instructions about how to use this stuff. I still remember the entire step-by-step instructions: "Apply desired amount of lubricant to your intimate areas. Reapply as needed." That was it. Duh!

So, since I'm pretty good at following instructions, I followed those directions to a T. I knew my fingers were going to become an "intimate area" when they went inside Brad's hole to get him ready. And I knew his hole was definitely an "intimate area." Oh, and I knew my cock was an "intimate area," but that could wait for a while. First things first, right?

I got him ready using one finger. When I tried two fingers I could tell it was hurting him some, so I just took my time and continued using one finger. I used some more lube on my finger and his hole and eventually tried a second finger and I could tell by how he was responding that he was relaxing more. It was almost like he was wanting my fingers to be a lot longer than they were because he kept pushing back against my hand when I went inside him further. As I was doing this, he raised his ass and I moved my fingers around the rim and did some light finger-wiggling inside him. I could tell he was relaxing more and more and when he said, "Matty, I want you to fuck me," I knew he was ready.

I got some more lube and put a little more just inside him and then put a good bit on my cock. I wasn't sure if there was enough on either place, but I wanted to take my time and get it right. Plus, the instructions said to "Reapply as needed."

I  turned Brad over on his back and took a pillow to prop his ass up a little, being careful that the lube he had down there didn't get wiped away on the sheets. I wanted to see his face and be able to kiss him while I was fucking him. I didn't just want to make love to his body, but I wanted to make love to him and I wanted to see him while this was happening.

I knew enough from some reading I had done and pictures I had seen that his legs would need to be up some, so I spread his legs apart and got between them and got him to rest one leg on one of my shoulders and the other leg on the other.

Now it was time for applying some lube to the last remaining "intimate area," my cock. What happened next was a little more complicated that I had thought. Sure, the lube helped things but this was going to go a little slower than I thought. Which was fine by me because I wanted to do this right and I wanted both of us to enjoy what was happening.

My cock is somewhat thick and I was so scared of hurting him and this whole thing turning into a major disaster. I used some more lube on his hole and my cock and then entered him very slowly, just going in a half-inch, then an inch, taking my time until he got use to how it felt. He asked me to stop a couple of times so he could relax. I just massaged him a little more until he was ready.

When I knew he was ready for more, I started slowly, very slowly, going in and out maybe an inch or two at a time. Several times he asked me to stop and hold things like they were. He whispered, "Let me just relax a minute." I leaned down to kiss him and we just enjoyed each other that way for a while.

When he was ready, I started going inside just a little ways, then stopping, then coming out some, then going back inside a little further. Trying each time to go in a little more. It took a while before I was finally able to go in all the way. Then I just stopped when I was all the way inside him. I wanted to enjoy what that was feeling like and to make sure Brad was okay.

Then when he started moving into my cock this time he seemed so relaxed and ready. There seemed no hesitation at all on his part and I started fucking him at a steady pace, slowly at first, but then going a little faster.

I was amazed that I could lean down and look into his face and kiss him while still fucking him. Amazing feeling. Totally amazing.

Well, things eventually really shifted into gear, and it wasn't long before I realized I was ready to cum. I had been afraid to play with his cock and balls while all this had been going on, because I wanted us both to come at the same time. But, hey, whatever was going to happen would happen and I'd be happy with it all.

Right before I came, I started stroking his cock and could tell this is exactly what he wanted. He was thrusting back into my cock and I was stroking his cock and we both started making these sounds that were really amazing. It didn't take long before I came inside him and he started coming all over his tummy and chest and a little of his cum hit him on his chin.

Before I pulled out, I leaned in again to kiss him and tell him how much I loved him. It was also my chance to taste that little bit of cum on his chin.

I can look back now and realize how I was aware that I had just given him something my body had made. Just knowing my cum was inside him made me feel what had happened was incredibly intimate. Even after I pulled out, I was still inside him.

We held each other for a while and didn't say much. After cleaning up we continued holding each other for a while longer. We were facing each other and I told him what I was thinking. I can probably write this best by putting it in dialogue form:

Me: "I have a new name for you."

Brad: "What?"

Me: "My Dove. You're my little Dove."

Brad: (smiling) "I like that. Why did you pick 'Dove'?"

Me: "You know how those white Doves are like symbols for peace?"

Brad: "Yeah."

Me: "That's what I think you do for me. You give me all this peace inside."

Brad: "I like that." (He waited a few minutes and then continued)
           "I have a name for you, too."

Me: "What?"

Brad: "My little Virgin."

Me: "Hmmm. You mind if that's just a temporary name?"

Brad: "Yeah, but we have to use names that apply. You're still my little Virgin."

Me: "I'd really like to lose that name. You know anybody with experience who knows how to do that?"

Brad: (laughing) Yeah. Turn over and hand me that lube."

Tune in tomorrow for the final installment.

The Virgin Chronicles: Newport (part 1)

After Brad and I had been dating for maybe 3 or 4 months, I began thinking about whether we could consider ourselves a "couple." I know that may sound strange because we had never actually said we didn't want to see other people. There was just this unspoken understanding that we were boyfriends and it seemed obvious that neither of us wanted to date anybody else. And even though we had never said the word "love" to each other, it was pretty clear to both of us that we were beginning to fall in love, or had fallen in love.

At some point in the following weeks and months, we began having these serious talks about where we wanted our relationship to go. Looking back on it now it's kinda funny to see how we were avoiding using the "love" word. Even though I had never been in love with anyone before, I felt certain I was in love with Brad. I guess saying that word out loud meant we were making everything official and it also felt like we were moving into some kind of unknown territory. It felt so right and at the same time felt scary.

Well, we eventually said "I love you" to each other and for me there was this almost overwhelming feeling of joy and hope and excitement. There was also this overwhelming sense of seriousness mixed in with everything else. I felt like this little kid and also felt like a mature adult. It was exciting and fun but also pretty daunting.

Like we've written before, we started having these really serious talks about sex. We both were pretty aware of all the information out there about HIV and other infections you could get under certain circumstances when you were sexually active. So, this led to the whole talk we had about whether we were going to use condoms when we decided to have full-on sex.

We also had this talk with each other about whether we had slept with anybody before and what kinds of things we had each done sexually with anybody else. I'm not going into all that again here since we just recently wrote about that. The bottom line was that neither of us had ever had anal sex with anybody. This is what I meant in the last paragraph about "full-on sex." Both of us had given each other blow jobs, but that's as close to "full-on sex" as we had come (no pun intended!). We weren't even totally naked when those blow jobs happened.

Well, we had never really talked about planning a time to have anal sex. I know I had been thinking about how it might happen. If you know anything about how my brain works, you already know I was planning something that involved dressing up and going out to dinner at a really classy restaurant and then going to a fancy hotel. There would be candles (even though hotels have those sprinkler systems and we would probably have an indoor shower that would mess everything up and end up getting arrested for having "fire" in the room!), really romantic music, imported chocolate, whipped cream, a hot tub or jacuzzi in the bathroom and all sorts of similar things.

I think, however, we just knew it would happen whenever it did and regardless of all the trappings, it would somehow be the way it should.

In the meantime we were just going to continue spending time with each other and let things unfold naturally.

Anyway, one of the things I knew about Brad was that he really loved jazz music. There was this jazz band in his high school and they use to have these concerts after school and that's how he developed his interest. He had already told me he had this dream about one day going to the Newport Jazz Festival in Newport, Rhode Island. The Festival has a reputation for having all the major jazz musicians and singers and if you are serious about jazz, then you've probably heard about the Newport Festival. Two of Brad's favorites (he calls them his "jazz gods"), John Coltrane and Miles Davis, had performed there, along with Ella Fitzgerald, Louis Armstrong and tons of other jazz legends. The Festival is always scheduled for some time in August each year, so the one for this year had already happened.

I began thinking about taking him to Newport on just a day trip one weekend. It's probably about an hour and a half, two hours at the most, from where we were to Newport. I thought it would be nice to show him Fort Adams (this Civil War fort) where the Festival was held and some other places I knew about in Newport. He had never been there before and I had been three or four times with my family. So, we planned a day trip one weekend.

When we were driving over the Newport Bridge onto the island, Brad looked totally dazed at the spectacular view of the harbor. I was trying to point out some things to him but he was turned with his back to me just staring out the window. I decided to stop talking and just let him take in all the beauty.

We went to the Cliff Walk (that's a picture of it to the left and up a little), which is a pedestrian trail on some high cliffs overlooking the Atlantic Ocean.

Then we had lunch at this restaurant on Thames street in the historic district. It's called Salas' Restaurant and even though it's not a fancy place, it has the best seafood I've ever eaten (in addition to superb Italian food). There's one part of the restaurant that overlooks Newport Harbor and that's where I told our server we wanted to sit. Luckily they had a table open with a spectacular view of the water.

We then went to a lot of other really cool places, but toward the late afternoon, we got in the car and I took him along Ocean Drive. It's one of my favorite places in Newport. The Drive eventually curves around and goes along the opening of Narragansett Bay. I remember watching the sunsets there when our family visited.

We got out of the car and were sitting together on the bank, with my arm around Brad. We were hardly talking since the beauty of the place was so spectacular. After a while, since it was getting a little late in the afternoon, I suggested we get ready to leave and head back to Boston. Brad didn't say anything but just snuggled up closer to me. He leaned in further and I had both my arms around him, just cuddling.

When I said, "Baby, it's beautiful here, but maybe we better start heading back," he didn't say anything but I could tell something was wrong. He put his hand on his face and it seemed like he wiping away some tears.

I turned him around to look at him and saw he had some tears coming down. "Brad, what's the matter? What's wrong?"

He just looked up at me and stared in my face for a second and said, "I love you so much. I don't want to leave here. I want to stay here with you."

I asked him if he wanted to stay a little later and have dinner and then leave after it was dark. He just looked back and said, "Yeah. I'd like to have dinner. But I want to spend the night with you here. Can we?"

We checked how much cash we had and figured we'd have to find a place just outside Newport since it's a big tourist spot and rooms would be extremely expensive. We found a really nice small motel in Middletown which is just over the Newport town limits.

After getting the room, Brad was being all shy and couldn't seem to keep from holding on to me the whole time. I asked him what he had in mind (I can be so clueless sometimes). He just said, "Do you want to drive down the street to that pharmacy we saw and get some things?" We hadn't brought anything like a toothbrush or toothpaste or other things, since we were just planning on this being a day trip. It was a good idea so off we went.

On the way to the pharmacy, he leaned over and asked if we could get some other things, too. I said, "Sure. Like what?" He said, "Well, maybe like some snacks, some soda, some lube, some shampoo. Whatever else we need when we get there."

The only word I heard was "lube." I swear this is the truth, but I almost ran off the road. He grabbed the steering wheel to keep us from having a wreck. Luckily the pharmacy was just another block away.

Before we got out of the car we just looked at each other. He said, "I know. I sorta slipped the lube in there. Guess you noticed?" I just said, "Yeah. I heard that." He waited and then said, "Well?" I said, "Yeah, let's get some lube. Some on."

Brad grabbed one of those plastic shopping things you put your stuff in and sent me to get the lube while he got some toothbrushes and all the other stuff.

I finally found the aisle where the "feminine products" (as they're called) and the condoms were. Next to the condoms were several different boxes containing tubes of "lubrication" (as they're called!). I grabbed a box and then thought maybe I should get two. I mean, who knows how this works? When I grabbed the second box, they both accidentally slipped out of my hand and went crashing to the floor. Tell me I wasn't nervous! Those things hit the floor in such a way that it sounded like a small gun had shot and, of course, people were turning to look and I was pretty sure a store manager was headed my way to check things out. I picked up both boxes and was walking away to find Brad but decided to turn around to get a third tube. Okay, stop laughing. I had never bought "lubrication" before so what did I know?

I found Brad waiting for me close to the checkout. He had found everything, including a bottle of this non-alcoholic wine. I put all three tubes of lube in the basket and his eyes zeroed in on those three boxes, then looked at me with this look that said, "Huh?" I just said, "I just want to make sure we have enough." He said, "Okay." He was still smiling and I said, "Well, if we don't need all this we can donate it to a food pantry or something." He said, "A food pantry?" I said, "Yeah. Or a homeless shelter or something." He almost started laughing and I just said, "Come on. Let's pay for this stuff and leave, okay? Please?"

I don't think either of us said a word on the way back to the room, other than, "Today was nice." "Yeah. I had a good time." "Me, too." "Yeah."

When we walked in, we both looked around like we had never seen this room before. It was a little disorienting. And awkward. And I knew my heart was beating faster than usual. My mouth was really dry. I tried to say something but wasn't really sure what to say.

I just looked at Brad and he was looking at me. I finally said, "Well. Why don't we close the door?" He smiled and said, "Oh. Yeah. Okay."

So the door was closed. We were alone together. Brad was still holding the bag from the pharmacy. I figured I needed to say something, but what came out next was totally unexpected. I'll pick up here tomorrow.

NOTICE: Just so everyone knows, tomorrow's post is going to include sexually explicit and graphic language. Just saying.