Enlarge Your Manhood!

There's a feature on Blogger where you can use a filter to try and stop spam from ending up on your blog. We use to use it but I turned it off a few months ago. Not sure why... I like to tinker around with gadgets sometimes when I'm bored (see it's Brad's fault.. if he would keep me entertained, then this kind of thing wouldn't happen!)

We haven't gotten much spam but there's been a few things popping up in the comments section. One was an advertisement for Maybelline mascara and if you clicked the link you could get a free sample. I deleted that comment and then told Brad about it and he got mad at me. "You could have at least gotten the sample. That stuffs expensive!" I can never win those kind of arguments so I just said I was sorry.

I tried to go back and find the deleted Maybelline comment, which was pretty easy to do, but when I tried to figure out how to restore the comment, I accidentally clicked some button and then the "Comments" screen blinked four or five times and then went totally blank! Totally blank. White screen. Nothing on it! It looked like I had deleted every single comment ever left by anybody since we started the blog! Almost 4,000 comments lost! Gone out into cyberspace somewhere.

I just wailed, "Nooooooooooooooooooo! Oh my God!!!!"

Brad was in the other room and started screaming, "Matty!!! What's the matter?" as he was running into the room. He thought I had hurt myself (again) and started checking to see if there was any blood on the floor or spurting out of my body anywhere.

He just looked at me and said, "What's the matter? What happened? Are you okay?" I looked at him and said, "I lost your Maybelline. I can't believe it. I lost your Maybelline and all the comments, too!"

I felt like crying. Just crying.

I finally calmed down enough to explain what happened and he sat down and did a few clicks and got everything restored. I am no longer allowed to tinker with the blog innards unless he's there. Which I agreed to. I don't even want to know what he did to restore things because it'll just make me more curious about Blog Innards and that can be a dangerous thing. Brad is now the Official Blog Innards Webmaster! I'm am now his Lowly Servant. And gladly! Don't need that stress, believe me!

Well, we got another spam comment yesterday. Guess what it was for?

PERMANENTLY ENLARGE YOUR MANHOOD!

Get Incredible Gains While You Sleep.

Wake up to 3 to 4 additional inches!

Pictures and Testimony from Satisfied Studs!

Click here to satisfy your partner!

So I'm sitting there reading this.

My hands are off the keyboard.

The highlighted link is staring at me.

My fingers start to twitch.

I'm starting to get lightheaded.

My heart starts pounding.

What damage can I do by clicking a link?

Brad's in the kitchen.

I'm sitting there staring at the link that will take me to pictures of "Satisfied Studs."

What's a boy to do, I ask you?

"Matty! Can you come here a sec?"

I have this startle response like I've been caught doing something wrong. Takes me a few seconds to blink my eyes and get myself back to where I am.

"Be right there."

I get to the kitchen and Brad's rolling out some dough for a pie he's making.

"Can you turn the dial on the stove to "simmer" and stir the filling for about 30 seconds?"

I look at the stove like it's an alien monster and make my slow approach.

"Are you okay?"

"What?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine."

I turn the dial to simmer and pick up the wooden spoon and start stirring.

"You know, we need more counter space."

"What?"

"We need more counter space. I don't have enough space to spread things out. Think maybe sometime we could enlarge the counter space?'"

"Enlarge the counter?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, we could enlarge the counter."

Brad keeps looking at me while I'm stirring. I can see him out of the corner of my eye.

When I finish I head back to the dining room and slowly look at the computer screen. "Enlarge Your Manhood!" It's like a message from outer space. Like some alien is hypnotizing me. Taking control of my mind.

To click, or not to click. That is the question.

"Matty?"

I just about jump out of my seat! Brad's standing behind me and I turn to look at him and he's looking from me to the screen and back to me.

I slide over in my chair so he can see the screen.

He very slowly moves the laptop in his direction, out of my reach, and very slowly closes the top.

He's now staring at me with this little boy grin on his face and reaches for my hands.

"Baby, we don't need some product to 'expand your manhood'. Just watch."

Every thing's under control in the kitchen and he leads me to the bedroom.

An hour later, while I'm taking a shower to clean up, Brad goes to the computer and deletes the "Satisfied Studs" spam comment. After all, he's the Official Blog Innards Webmaster.

I think he also put the spam filter back on. No need for any outside help with Increasing our Manhood. We get that for free.

So I'm off to the store now for his Maybelline mascara and some eyeliner. That we still have to pay for!