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Evil Plotting

Had dinner with S last night.  We went for a walk in the park with her dog for an hour, and she's a fast walker. I think that counts as good exercise, so I skipped my 30 day shred, I just didn't feel up to it. I did about 5 minutes of the warm up this morning before work though. (Never do jumping jacks braless if you're a DD.  Ouch!)
 I also have a sore throat, and didn't want to overdo it. Feeling like crap this morning, after waking at 4.30 and not being able to get back to sleep again.  I was lying there thinking about Ex, and that's what annoys me, I was all 're-stimulated' after dinner with S. She kept mentioning Ex and bitch, and I kept saying I didn't want to talk about it, and hadn't thought about them in a while.  She doesn't get it. I don't think it's malicious, I think that she's just so caught up in her own BS, that she can't see that I don't want to talk about mine, or that I want to just leave it and walk away.

Needless to say, I didn't tell her I'd visited Ex's office. I did tell her about the astrology reading though. I regretted even mentioning it as soon as it came out of my mouth.  I would love her to bits, if we had other things to talk about. I do enjoy her company, she is hilarious, we do laugh a  lot together, but..  I wish she'd get the not-so-subtle hint that I don't want to talk about Ex and bitch any more. Not with her, anyway. And less and less so with other people too. 

Good news is, she might be relocating to San Francisco, so that will help. I hope she gets the job there that she applied for.  For several reasons, not just my own selfishness.  It would do her good to get out of here. And her job right now is a very high stress executive job, she hates it and is looking for an out.  I hope she finds one. 
She has asked the SF people for a lot of money though, so I don't know that she will get it. She has been to a 2nd interview. Good for her.

I was lying awake thinking about how fun it would be, to send Ex and/or Master and bitch a letter informing them that they were being federally investigated. I am an evil genius. Why can't I invent the cure for cancer or something instead? Why does my brain come up with all these clever schemes to blow people's lives apart, rather than something useful?  I am not an evil person.  Maybe I am, I don't know.
I know there are services that will mail things for you from other locations. There are also email services that will send email from other addresses. 

S and I came up with a plan for revenge for her ex, too. Liquid Ass.  It's this stuff you can buy, I have mentioned it before, that smells, well, like ass.  You can put drops of it anywhere you like, to smell up the place. We had thought of putting it on his bike seat, to make his ass smell like ass.  OMG we laughed when coming up with that..  I bought her some for Christmas, she said it was the best gift anybody had ever given her..  lol  
I am surprised she hasn't actually done it yet.  I have thought about how I could sneak over to Master's and smell up the place somehow, too. Or Ex's car window, or..

Fuck, I could, and have, thought up a million things to wreak havoc upon them. IRS tax tip-off, STD clinic letters, flowers to her signed from her ex, anonymous flowers to him that would drive her paranoia when he thanked her for them, calling Rick Ross cult-buster, you name it.

I guess for now, my 'spiritual' practice is just not acting on any of it.  I am glad they live way across town, and I can't be bothered to drive over there.

I had stopped to call Ex from a call box this morning near the office, and ran into a friend and got diverted.  God is going to have to keep putting friends like that in my path, otherwise I will call, I really want to hear his voice, but I know it would fuck me up.

I just miss him. And as Sartorius and Mocuar commented on the phone yesterday, I just need some acknowledgement from him.  But I'm probably never going to get it.  They are of course, right on.  I wish he'd email me or call, but I told him not to.

I feel like such a loser sometimes, that I can't come up with anything other to write about than this bullshit. Where are my posts on interesting things I've discovered through meditation, etc.

I have been considering writing a weekly horoscope,  test my astrology knowledge a little, make this blog a bit more interesting than some whiny rant from an obsessive, self-indulgent, self-pitying asshole.  That's not what I had planned on this blog being about.

I think it must be PMS time.  I am feeling all sad and whiny and tired today.
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