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Such a Flirt!

I live with a serial flirter!

If you've been reading our blog for a while, you probably have some ideas about our personalities.

Matty's pretty outgoing and enjoys talking and joking around with people. It's hard to describe, but he's got a look about him that's open and non-threatening. There's something about his eyes and the expression on his face that's easy to look at.

When we're out in public he loves to look around at people and has this look that seems to be filled with curiosity about everything around him. Not creepy curiosity but more like he's thinking some kind of low-key greeting he can make if people were to stop and chat.

Then sometimes in passing, people give him a slight nod in greeting (which he always returns) and then sometimes I've noticed people sorta tilt their heads when they see him, almost like they're thinking, Do I know you from somewhere?

I'm not as outgoing as him, but you might find me somewhere between "friendly" and "a little bit shy." When I'm around people I don't know, I usually hang back a little and wait for some interaction before I can just relax and feel comfortable.

Well, about a week ago, Matty and I went grocery shopping together. We rarely do that since I like to take my time and not be rushed and Matty is more the "in-and-out" type (well, um, except for some things..! lol).

I take my grocery shopping seriously and we go to this store that has lots of specialty products you don't normally find in your average grocery store. I'm always seeing things I've never heard of before and I like to read the packages and start thinking of things I can make.

Well, the few times Matty and I go together, he's off and running up and down the aisles seeing what kind of trouble he can get into. Not literally, of course, but he goes to the magazine and paperback book section and spends some time there, then he heads to the section where they sell school supplies and tries to find the coolest pen or checks out paper shredders or other gadgets. Then he checks out the aisles where they have his favorite snack foods. Then he comes to find me and see what I'm doing and we chat for a minute, then he's off and running again! Always on the move.

Lots of times I ask him to run to the store to pick up various items I might have forgotten, and he always likes to do that since he can run in, get the items, and then leave when he's ready.

Well, this last time we went shopping together, I learned a little more about his adventures at the grocery store. Matty likes to flirt! And I got to witness it on more than one occasion. Not just with one person, but he's a serial flirter! And he's got it down to an art form!

We were at the deli counter getting different cheeses and items for sandwiches. There were probably about four or five people who work the deli and one of them is this woman who looks like she's maybe a little older than my mom.

She was helping another customer when Matty got to the deli counter so this man asks him for his order. Well, before he could even say he wanted a pound of Swiss cheese, the woman sees Matty and breaks out in this huge grin and tells the man helping him that she'll take his order... So the man goes on to the next customer in line.

Seems like she knows Matty and was ready to fight off any of the other servers so she could take his order! I'm just standing back looking at him and waiting to see how this plays out. It was cute watching the two of them joke around with each other. 

She starts calling him Cutie and Sweetheart and Darling and Hun, and is grinning from ear to ear. You should have seen her. Her whole demeanor lit up and it's almost like how I remember some of the girls use to flirt in high school. She almost looked like she was maybe 15 or 16. It actually was kinda cute to watch.

So I step up to the counter next to him to get a better look at what's going on. Seems like she's telling him she has a daughter his age who would (her words), "Love to meet you. She has a 'thing' for cute, funny boys." Oh God. Now it was getting a little "too sweet." LOL

What does Matty do? He flashes her a smile and says, "Yeah? What's she look like?" So this woman starts describing her daughter and they're both joking around while she's getting the cheese and sandwich meat. I started thinking, Hmmm. Does Matty have this secret life I don't know about? I'm standing there waiting to see what happens next.

Matty smiles and then tells her, "Well, I'll have to ask my boyfriend first and see if it's okay." Silence. She hands Matty his order. She then notices me standing next to him and Matty puts his arm around me, pulls me in, gives me a kiss on the cheek, and says, "Marie (he even knows her name!), this is my boyfriend, Bradley."

Well, Marie gives me the once-over, gives me a big smile, and tells me it's nice to meet me. Then she says to me, "Honey, you better keep your eyes on him. He's quite the charmer!" I smile back and say something like, "Yeah. So I'm learning." Then she says, "Oh honey, he's as harmless as they come. Cute, funny, but quite harmless. You have nothing to worry about. But if he ever gets out of line, you come find me. I'll take care of him!" Matty looks at me and says, "And she means that!" Well, they laugh and Marie says it was nice to meet me and we leave the deli counter.

I'm walking along and ask him, "You are such a flirter. You know that, right?" All he says is, "Oh, we just joke around and she's really a nice person."

"But weren't you leading her on about her daughter?"

"Nah. We always joke about stuff like that. Once she even tried to introduce me to several girls waiting their turn at the deli counter! She just likes to joke with me like that."

"Do you ever flirt back?"

"Not really. I just like to joke around. I only flirt around with you. All that stuff she does is just fun."

Then we're walking down the cereal aisle and pass this girl who has on one of those store employee aprons they wear. Yep. She lights up, gives Matty this big smile and says in this sorta loud voice, "Matthew! How you doing?" ("Matthew"? He only gets called that by me when I'm mad at him!)

I get the impression he doesn't remember her name, but it's right there on her name tag, so he's sorta leaning over and trying not to stare at her breasts where the tag is! He then looks up and flashes her a smile and says, "Hi Lisa. How's it going?"

"I'm fine! Haven't seen you in a while!"

"Oh, well, my boyfriend doesn't let me out of the house very often!"

Lisa: "Ha ha ha ha ha!"

Matty: "But he let me out today! This is Bradley."

Lisa: "Hi. How's it going?"

Me: "Good. Nice to meet you."

Lisa: {giggles}

Matty: "Okay. See ya around!"

Lisa: "Bye Matthew {throwing a wink his way}. Oh, nice to meet you" (meaning me, the one without a name!).

I swear it's like that three or four more times with different employees. And it's not all women.

When we get to the bread aisle, there's this man probably in his mid 60s stocking the shelves.

Bread Man: "Oh no! Here comes the troublemaker!"

Matty: "Hi Ernest. And you have no room to call me the troublemaker!"

Well, they banter like that for a short while as I get a package of English muffins and some bread.

We're in the car on the way home and Matty's all chatty (like that? Chatty Matty). I tell him, "You're quite the popular one at the store."

He says, "Yeah. I like joking around with them. They're really friendly there."

Then he get's what I'm trying to say.

Matty: "Oh. You know I only do real flirting with you, right?"

Me: "Yeah. I knew that."

We're both laughing all the way home while I'm throwing these lines at him:

"Oh Matty. I have such a 'thing' for cute, funny boys."

"Oh Matthew. Haven't seen you in a while!"

We get home and he knows he's gonna have to do some serious flirting with me. Well, we put the grocery bags on the counter and he leads me to the bedroom. In the middle of everything, I remember the frozen items still sitting on the kitchen counter.

Me: "Oh my God! We forgot to put the frozen stuff in the freezer!"

Matty: "Aw, just let it melt. Let's keep going."

Me: "No. It'll only take a minute."

Matty: {grabbing me back to the bed} "Let it melt. I'll go back to the store after we're finished."

Me: "I'm going with you."

Sigh. The stress of living with a Serial Flirter!
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