E's best friend threw a party at the weekend. I had way too much wine, and came to the conclusion that I am crushing on CEO (slightly, it's not so bad), because I am scared to really admit what I am feeling for E. It's scary, opening your heart back up after a divorce!
I think I was running away, looking for the next latest thing, because I am so scared of feeling anything deeper than a certain level.
I told E that, (though not the part about having the hots for our new boss!) and drunk texted him across the party.. :) I don't think he minded.
When I stop and feel it, I ADORE E. He really is special, a Good Man. I need to remember that, and not do my usual bullshit routine of crushing on some new guy, losing the one I am with, to find out too late that I really felt something for him, and fucking up everybody's heads all at once. Not a good plan.
Anyway, I jumped on the scales at the weekend, I weigh 137, which for me, is pretty fucking heavy. I feel too fat to make any moves on any hotshot young CEO dude. I need to stop drinking. For several reasons, not least is the weight gain, nor embarrassing myself when I drunk-text my lover.
Solar Eclipse yesterday was supposed to be spectacular from here, but we had cloud, I didn't see a thing! It hit my Saturn, and CEO's Saturn-Venus conjunction, square on.
I am waiting until this present Moon square Mars is at least waning, before going to talk to our accountant-bitch about something.. Passing time.. Have you seen Planetwatcher.com ? It's awesome. Present time charts for the moment and upcoming aspects.
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