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My fat drunk ass

E's best friend threw a party at the weekend. I had way too much wine, and came to the conclusion that I am crushing on CEO (slightly, it's not so bad), because I am scared to really admit what I am feeling for E. It's scary, opening your heart back up after a divorce!
I think I was running away, looking for the next latest thing, because I am so scared of feeling anything deeper than a certain level.
I told E that, (though not the part about having the hots for our new boss!) and drunk texted him across the party.. :)  I don't think he minded. 
When I stop and feel it, I ADORE E.  He really is special, a Good Man. I need to remember that, and not do my usual bullshit routine of crushing on some new guy, losing the one I am with, to find out too late that I really felt something for him, and fucking up everybody's heads all at once.  Not a good plan. 

Anyway, I jumped on the scales at the weekend, I weigh 137, which for me, is pretty fucking heavy. I feel too fat to make any moves on any hotshot young CEO dude.   I need to stop drinking. For several reasons, not least is the weight gain, nor embarrassing myself when I drunk-text my lover. 

Solar Eclipse yesterday was supposed to be spectacular from here, but we had cloud, I didn't see a thing!  It hit my Saturn, and CEO's Saturn-Venus conjunction, square on.  

I am waiting until this present Moon square Mars is at least waning, before going to talk to our accountant-bitch about something.. Passing time..   Have you seen  ?  It's awesome.  Present time charts for the moment and upcoming aspects. 
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