What a piece of work is a man, how noble in reason, how
infinite in faculties, in form and moving how express and
admirable, in action how like an angel, in apprehension how like
a god!
infinite in faculties, in form and moving how express and
admirable, in action how like an angel, in apprehension how like
a god!
Now substitute the word MAN for GAY..... and re read it.
I'm not poking fun or making a jaded, bitter comment here. I truly believe it. What a piece of work is GAY MAN..... After all........ look at all the different types we come in......
- Bears
- LeatherMen
- Muscle Mary's
- Twinks
- Gaysians
- Draq Queens
- Sirs
- boys
- Bois
- Cubs
- Otters
- A-Gays
- Preps
- Daddies
- Silver Foxes
- Alt / Queer
- Chubs
- Chasers
- Misters
- Hunters
What a patchwork rainbow we truly are. Such a spectacle of diversity - all united in the love and attraction we have for our fellow male.
In the early years of the Gay Movement this diversity - that is, a collection of differences - was a foundation of truly awesome social change and progression, and is STILL the foundation of our desire for Equity today.
However, in recent years we have seen a disturbing trend of hate WITHIN the Gay Community. What was once a source of celebration and unification is now a means of division. The colours of our diverse rainbow become demarcation lines of social and sexual cliques that have grown into - at times - a hatred from within that can eclipse the hatred from without.
The three most obvious examples of this can be seen on our online searches for others.
Neg Only
No Fats
No Femmes
There are more of course..... but these are three of the most common.
In the mid 1990's when I worked in sexual health, there was an HIV awareness campaign here in Australia that I vehemently objected to. It was two posters with a single banner headline at the top "Are you Positive Towards Negatives?" or "Are you Negative Towards Positives?" I was part of a focus group of gay men at a national HIV/AIDS conference in Sydney that tested this campaign.
Many of us - negative and positive alike - disliked the idea of such an obvious use of sero-status as a TITLE. Many of us believed that this use of - and thus approval of - such identifiers would ultimately prove counter productive. And we were right. In the late 90's early 00's there was a move towards status based social matrixes. Poz men would reject Neg men as friends/social acquaintances and vice versa.
At this same time the unifying umbrella term of "Gay Community" was being vehemently rejected by Lesbians. Thus we became the Gay & Lesbian Community. Followed - more gently - as the Lesbian & Gay community. Then the LGBT - Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Community. And now - we have the LGBTQI - the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, and, Intersex community.
A very wise individual I know who has worked in gay mens health for decades scratches his head when we discuss this. His idea is that we are so focussed on the patches - that we have forgotten the WORK. We have lost the TWINE that bound the patches, into a Patchwork Quilt.
What happened?
We are so vibrant. So diverse. So uniquely flavoured. And yet, these positives are most often used now as negatives that divide us and - at the personal level - exclude us from the one thing that all these different men seek..................... another.
We are - in truth - the manufacturers of our own loneliness.
I have many friends - who they themselves have many friends and even more social acquaintances - all single. All alone. And most - lonely.
Why? No poz. No neg. No fat. No old. No young. No (insert particular ethnicity here including white). No people of Faith. No clubbers. No nesters. No tops. No bottoms. No..... No..... No.....
I am reminded of and will leave you with the following that is the mirror of the above.
No Same Sex Marriage.
No Adoption Rights.
No Same Sex Immigration.
No Same Sex Partner Benefits.
No Gay Anti-Discrimination Clauses.
No Gay Military Members.
No ........... No......... No........
Shabbat Shalom and blessings on you all.
Damien
xox
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