Since I've been in counseling I've gotten some new insights into why my life is the way it is, why I react the way I do to certain things, why I seem to have these really dark moods, and why my future seems different than it did a few months ago.
I told him last week I like some of the ways I'm changing. I don't get as panicky about new things, I seem to feel a little more confident about myself, I'm even starting to accept myself as being more femme that I originally wanted to be.
He asked me if there were some changes I didn't like. I had to really think about that one. What I came up with kind of surprised me. I told him even though I was changing in some good ways, it worried me that I had no clue where all these changes might be heading.
He asked why that concerned me.
"Well, what if I don't like what I find out about myself? What if I start changing into a horrible person?"
Know what his wise answer was?
"I think you have a hard time believing you're a worthwhile person."I get these little glimpses every once in a while that maybe I am a worthwhile person. Maybe all these little insights I'm having are only leading to getting better acquainted with the person I already am but haven't fully discovered yet.
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