Reality Check

I was out for a walk last night, and admittedly I had had a few glasses of wine, but I got to thinking that I am quite possibly, mentally insane.
I think it comes down to a question of faith in things.  Specifically, my 'faith' that somehow I will end up dating CEO! But previous to that, all kinds of things, such as things working out with Ex, etc.

What exactly is 'faith', and when does it become mental illness, and a refusal to accept reality as it is? 

I have been around this one a million times, but it always comes back to the same thing.  I can't let go of something I want.  So, I try to hang on, and have 'faith', that it will all work out. 

My life is not working out, not really. I am very possibly about to take somebody I once loved very much, and still do, through the legal system and possibly to court.  I am not in love with the guy I'm currently in a relationship with, and the sex is crap. I am hopelessly and inappropriately in love with my very married Catholic Republican boss.
What about any of that, is ok?? 

Where has any 'faith' actually got me? 

That sounds very doom and gloom, I'm laughing at it all really, but when you look at it in those terms, it's a pretty stark reality check. 

I should not go out walking by myself at night while slightly drunk, I get very melancholy.