At the Party

Well, do I feel silly.. Sister and A arrived early at the party, 7pm. They were the first there. (Thank you Sister!!) I had downed a beer just before they arrived as I was so nervous, and all that happened was I got totally tongue-tied, and I don't think I said more than about 10 words to A all evening that made any sense. But at least I didn't spend the evening wondering when they were going to come. That was nice. For about an hour or more, they were the only guests there, that was great, I got to spend time with Sister, who I love so much, but felt a little silly that none of my other friends had arrived yet.

He was sweet, I caught several nice, mischievous smiles, I think he could feel my self-consciousness. He very kindly brought over a bunch of cds he had burned for me to keep, which was a lovely gesture. I'm listening to one at the moment, Brian Eno, No Pussyfooting. Seemed appropriate somehow.
I did quite a bit of pussyfooting last night. I did at least manage to get up and dance, though didn't manage to ask him to dance with me. I did notice him watching me though.

All this is leading somewhere, beyond some kind of neurotic schoolgirl crush, bear with me.

So I sent his sister the email. Confessed all. She replied with a huge grin all across the page, I think she'd like nothing more than for me to get together with him. She loves me, and I love her, so much. Soul-sisters.

I dreamt of her yesterday morning, and asked her in the dream if she'd read my email, 'Yes, I read it" she said, and gave that beautiful smile of hers. I told her that last night, too. We have a very psychic connection. I really never need to tell her things, and vice versa, we usually already know.

One brief conversation I had with A last night was about awakening Kundalini, he said his will awaken on command, and that's a rare person!! I can feel that to be the truth of it, too. He must be in that place, to affect me so strongly.

So when I finally got to bed last night, about 1.30, I suddenly was very, very strongly taken over by spiritual force again, more strongly than I think I have ever been, outside my Master's physical presence. It was painful and intensely sexual, felt like a steel bar being forced down between my eyes, and into my stomach, and back up my spine to the head this time. After a while it became very blissful. My body was utterly contorted with it, for perhaps half an hour. My husband slept in my room last night, so I told him what was going on, but of course didn't mention A...

Which leaves me wondering, is it a coincidence, that every time I see A, that happens? I can't ulitimately give him the power of that, he isn't responsible for that happening in me, but it is a very interesting phenomena. And I don't believe in coincidence.

I did manage to stammer out, as they were leaving, 'Hey, how about we go to lunch soon and catch up?" He grinned, lit up, hugged me tightly and said yes.