Moving Towards...

Here is an interesting page on the BBC website, find a country, get a brief synopsis of it's history and culture! What a neat idea. You'd never find that on an American news site! ;-) Off-topic for this blog, but worth posting.

Doing ok today. I woke up feeling very sad and upset that I will likely never get to go to some of my favourite places again, as I don't have a car or a license, and now have nobody to go with.. I love the ocean, and Husband and I loved to take long weekends now and again, and go stay in a small hotel or B&B somewhere on the coast. I love the coast around Washington and Oregon and Northern California. SO many beautiful places.

But that is probably not true. The ocean is not going anywhere, and I will probably find a way back to it. I was very sad at the thought this morning though.

The mind is like a nest of baby spiders, all waiting to erupt and crawl all over you and freak you out. Endless self-generating creepy and scary thoughts, by the million. Best not pay it any attention. It took an hour or so to figure out that I will very probably get to go to the beach again one day... lol Hell, there's even a bus from my house to the nearest beach that takes about 45 minutes. I think I can manage that by myself.

I have been having interesting ideas pop into my head about what I would like to take the time to do, that Husband never would have got around to doing with me. One is taking a long weekend and flying to New York to see Alex Grey's place. Apparently you can get a train from Grand Central Station that drops you within a mile. :-) How fun would that be?

I LOVE Alex Grey's art. Would have to plan it very carefully to make sure he was there when I went though, I have always wanted to meet him.

I am starting to be able to feel possibilities opening up, and reasons not, falling away. I always assumed I needed Husband to do these things with. I can afford it, I'm in the fortunate position that I have some money. Not much, but enough to be able to do a few things I've wanted to. Enough that I don't feel trapped by circumstance. Enough to consider possibilities.
Other ideas include a visit to New Orleans, or maybe even somewhere further. I realize how I have been limiting myself.
Obviously, there is vacation time from the office to consider, but... I will manage.

Might even get my license, then I can hire a car for the occasional weekend, even though driving terrifies me, the limitation of being stuck in town all the time terrifies me more.