I chose not to go see Master last night. He was cool with that. I had my cozy evening with E in front of the TV with homemade pumpkin soup, and then an early night. Great sex.. Like, fantastic. 2 orgasms. Oh yeah, that is still happening. He feels fucking amazing inside me! It's so nice to have a lover with a dick big enough that I can feel it so much better. (Score 1-0 E to ex-Husband!)
Anyway, the dilemma still remains. I am having dinner with ex-Husband tonight. I am nervous. I of course didn't say a thing to E. But part of my heart was breaking, wondering how long it will last. Stupid, huh?
As it will tonight, with Husband, all over again. Husband is coming to my place, and I will have an hour after work to make sure all the signs of E are gone from last night. Lube tubes and ribbed condoms on the bedside table, toothbrush, 2 sets of dishes in the kitchen, E's fleece jacket in my closet, not that Husband is that observant, but you never know. He might notice the condoms. ;-)
Fuck, shit, fuck. I just want to get over it, and stop feeling the perpetual heartbreak.
Why am I even thinking in such binary terms, yes or no, choices, dilemma? Perhaps it won't even be the choice I think it will have to be. Duality isn't always the correct answer, is it? Reality isn't always what we assume. I should make no assumptions about any of this.
Post a Comment