Sweet nights and tough talks

Last summer Brad and I made two decisions about our relationship. One was exciting and the other was a little bit scary. Both decisions were motivated by a desire to strengthen our relationship.

The exciting decision was to start a new weekly tradition which we call our Date Night. We got the idea from a friend of ours who was telling us he and his husband have a date with each other every Wednesday night. Sometime they go to dinner, sometimes to a movie, but every Wednesday is their night together, no matter what. They've been together for over 12 years so their experience held some weight for us.

Since we made that decision, we haven't missed a single Wednesday night. We've had to made a few modifications here and there, like deciding to have a "home date" when we were too exhausted from work and school, but even those few nights have been really special. When we have a "home date" we go "un-plugged" from all electronic devices and order a home-delivered meal such as pizza or Chinese food. Bradley takes the night off from cooking, and I'm given a reprieve from clean-up. Those "home dates" when we're really tired feel like some well-deserved pampering.

Most of the time we plan ahead on what we want to do, and sometimes one of us is in charge of planning the date and calling the other during the week to ask for a date on Wednesday. That might sound a little silly since we've been together for almost 3 years, but it's always a little fun planning a date and calling Brad to ask him out. It's sorta like a little "role-play" I guess you'd say.

"Hi. Is this Brad?"

"Yes. Who's this?"

"Uh, well, my name's Matt and I noticed you at the restaurant where you work and was wondering, well, if I could take you out for coffee and dessert sometime?"

"What's you're name again?"

"Matt. Or Matthew. My friends call me Matty."

"You say you've been to my restaurant?"

"Yeah. I was there last Thursday for lunch. I was by myself sitting by the window and you waited on me. I had the Cheeseburger in Paradise with smoked bacon and a dill pickle and home fries and cole slaw. And a house salad. And a large ginger ale. Oh, and Key Lime pie."

"Oh yeah, I remember you. I had to have help bringing your food to the table."

"I'm a growing boy."

"So, yeah, coffee and dessert sounds nice."

"Is that a yes? You'd go out with me?"

"Yes."

"Wow. Cool. That's great."

"How'd you get my number?"

"Well, you wrote it on the check."

"Oh yeah. I like guys with baseball caps."

"I took it off inside the restaurant."

"Yeah, I noticed. I wondered why you had it in your lap instead of on the table."

"In my lap? Right. Well, um, it just seemed more, uh, convenient there."

"I see."

"So what about this Wednesday night around 7:00?"

"Sounds good. Let me give you my address."


We must be doing something right that after almost 3 years together we both still really look forward to our mid-week Date Night. There's something about these dates that remind us to never, ever lose those exciting and precious times early in our relationship when we were first dating.

In the beginning of our relationship we were trying to get to know each other better, learn something new about the other, share something new about ourselves.

Come to think of it, that seems to be what these dates now are about. All I know is that nothing interferes with our sweet night together on Wednesday. There's too much to look forward to. Plus, this has now become one of the "foundations" that make our life together a little stronger.

Stay tuned for Part 2, about the tough talks, the other key element in our foundation.