Second Chances by T. A. Webb

I haven't done many narrative book reviews because to be honest, I always agonize over how to organize my thoughts so I capture all the feelings I have and cover all the points I want to make. I would never make it as a professional reviewer so I'll happily leave that to others who have those talents and skills. My hat is off to them.

What usually happens is I just write out some rambling thoughts that just occur to me when I think about the story. I'm going to do the same here. Let me say at the start that this particular book by Tom Webb gets 5 stars from me. I read this book right after it was published and I still think about it. It's almost like the characters have somehow become personal friends of mine and as strange as it might sound to say this about fictional characters, I still care for them. This particular book is one I'm sure I'll be rereading more than once. It's that good.

Since I'm horrible about summarizing plots, I've cheated and copied the blurb (presumably written by the author or the publisher):

Mark Jennings is at a crossroads. His finance job in the Atlanta nonprofit scene stresses him out, his mother is dying, and his relationship with Brian Jacobs has crashed and burned. He needs a distraction, some way to relax, and a massage seems like just the thing. He never expected his massage therapist, Antonio Roberto, to become his best friend.

Despite their differences—Antonio is a divorced single father—the two men forge a firm friendship that weathers Mark’s reconciliation with Brian and Antonio’s questionable taste in women. Over the years, Antonio remains constant in his support, though others in Mark’s life come and go through a revolving door.

When a young boy runs away from the group home where he works, Mark finds another door opening. Through it all he holds on to the things his loved ones taught him—about family, about friends and lovers, about life and death. Most importantly, he realizes that sometimes the greatest gift of all is a second chance.

 Okay. Fasten your seat belts and get ready for this unconventional review. Here goes:

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I swear to God I have NEVER, ever read anything as powerful and meaningful and moving as this! I'm reading along enjoying the story, then -- all of a sudden -- there's this sentence or paragraph or scene that reaches out and grabs my heart and makes the story shift into something really powerful that changes everything.

Or opens my eyes to something I didn't see coming or something I didn't think about. And makes me care for and love these guys. And, most amazingly of all, somehow changes me inside and makes me care about life on a deeper level.

There didn't seem to be any minor characters (well, the asshole who was using Robbie... and maybe those sibs of Mark ... except for Sister Mary Vagina!! LOL). I mean there wasn't a single character or a single scene... or a single page, or paragraph, or sentence that was wasted.

It's funny because in a lot of books (I'm talking about the worthwhile ones), I usually get emotionally attached to at least the MCs, but it seemed like every single character was a major character, including the mother who's not even there but seems to haunt every single page.

And the Dad... I LOVE THAT MAN! In my eyes, he's what being a man is all about. Talk about stepping up to the plate!

And Robbie and Jason? I DEMAND to know more about these two kids! Hear me, Tom?! I'm waiting! ;-)

You know, there's this thing about fictional characters that always interests me. I know they're creations of the author's imagination, but I always know I'm reading a special book when I start caring for them as if they were people in my real life! And I ended up loving every one of them!

So how did I do emotionally with this story? I went through so many emotions it's not funny. One minute I found myself laughing at the humor in the story. Then a few pages later I suddenly realized I was crying. There aren't too many things I read that grip my heart like this one. And even though I realized I was crying a number of times, there's not one single thing that's "sentimental" about the story. It all rang true and honest.

Sometimes I'm in the mood to read something that's pure escape... something that will carry me away from my real life. This book did just the opposite. It carried me toward my real life. Pointed me in the direction of the kind of person I want to be by showing me people who are fully awake to all the possibilities of life and all the possibilities of love and all the possibilities of second chances.

So now I now want to tell you, Tom, "Thank you." Thank you for telling this story. Second chances in life are powerful things. And right now I feel more alive and hopeful after getting to meet your guys. But I think the best thing of all is getting a glimpse into that big heart of yours. What a gift.

So thank you, Tom, for speaking to my heart and making me a better person as a human being. And that is about the highest praise I can give an author.

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Sock it to Me, Santa! by Madison Parker

We haven't done many book reviews, but every now and then we come across a book we fall in love with and keep thinking about over and over.

In the interest of complete disclosure, I was one of the beta readers before Madison released this wonderful short story. When she sent me the manuscript I read it through and wondered, Why does she need a beta reader? I don't see anything I can suggest to make this any better.

But I did make one suggestion and she worked with it and made a change in something! Can you believe that? So naturally this is now my NUMBER ONE favorite story of all time and will remain so for all eternity!! LOL!!

Blurb:
Ryan is assigned to Jamie Peterson for his class's secret gift exchange. If word gets out that he has to make a handcrafted gift for flamboyant and openly gay Jamie, Ryan will be the laughing stock of the school. It's a good thing no self-respecting boy would be caught dead in a craft store, because otherwise he'd be at risk of being spotted when his mom drags him to her weekly craft workshops. He hopes Jamie will appreciate all the trouble he's going to for this assignment. Finding the perfect gift is gonna be tricky. Jamie deserves something good, though, after all the crap he has to put up with at school. At least, Ryan tells himself that's the reason he's putting so much thought into the gift. It couldn't be that he has feelings for Jamie, could it?

There is so much to love about this story, which falls in the Young Adult category. But if you think ONLY young people would enjoy this story, you're very mistaken. All you need to appreciate this story is a heart. And even if your heart is somewhat closed, after you read this story you'll find it a little more open than before.

This is a story we're planning to give to Jake (our high school next-door-neighbor) and his boyfriend, Brady. I can't wait to hear what they think of it.

BUT, this is a story we plan to give as a gift to our adult friends also. It recalls some things everybody who has been to high school can relate to. How do I fit in with other people my age? If I befriend this certain kid, is that going to damage my image as one of the "cool kids"?

What's more important to me? Doing the right thing, or maintaining my carefully cultivated image as "one of the in-crowd"? And what the hell do I do when I think I might want to be boyfriends with this emo-type, flamboyant kid? Does that mean I might be gay? 

And why am I attracted to this "certain kid," who only has girls for friends, and, get this, LOVES TO KNIT? What does all this mean?

Well, I won't give anything away, but the resolution of these dilemmas is not exactly smooth sailing. The author does a really good job of getting into the heads of both these boys and their personalities and character. She has either spent a lot of time observing boys this age, or she's really a teenage boy masquerading as an adult! LOL! This story is like those wonderful Christmas bells you hear -- the ones that have a beautiful tone and ring true!

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Madison has graciously offered a giveaway of her story to one lucky commenter. Just leave a comment along with your email addy and we'll be announcing the winner this Friday.

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Even if you've already read the story, it would make a wonderful gift! Here's a direct link to Madison's site: Sock it to Me, Santa!.

If you've already read this story, feel free to let us know what you thought. Just remember, no spoilers, please. Thanks!

Oh, oh, oh... Matty made me mention something about Madison's upcoming debut novel (Play Me, I'm Yours) because one of the characters is reportedly a "speedo-sporting stud"!! Matty is also hoping this book is illustrated! It's scheduled to be released in April 2013, but Matty says that's not fast enough and Madison should bribe the publishers to move it up -- to tomorrow, please! LOL!

Now I need to learn a little more about knitting a sock monkey! I want one so bad!! I've never knitted before, but this story made me want to! ;)

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Hanging out with Ty & Zane

I'm only about halfway finished with Cut & Run by Madeleine Urban and Abigail Roux, the first book in what looks like a really exciting series. I was going to wait until I finished this first book before I wrote anything about it but (as is usual with me sometimes) I just couldn't wait.

First of all I have to say I'm a HUGE fan of cop/detective mystery thrillers. My dad has always devoured books in this genre so his interest really rubbed off on me at an early age. If you're into this genre you probably know heterosexual romances are often a part of the plot, so I was blown away to discover the romance in this book is between two men!

And even though I'm only halfway finished with this first book, I'm really glad the romance part is not overshadowing the underlying plot as these two FBI special agents try to track down a serial killer (who they suspect may just be another FBI agent).

What I mean by that is I like the fact that we have a story where you have all the usual elements of a cop mystery (including the romance) but one doesn't overshadow the other. In fact, as in most well-written books in this genre, the romance develops naturally and becomes an integral part of the overall plot.

I also like the fact that the romance developing between these two men is happening slowly -- ever so slowly. At the beginning of the book it's hard to imagine how these two men -- both with baggage from their past -- both with their own irritating and prickly personality quirks -- are ever going to be able to work together as FBI agents investigating a series of horrendous murders, much less begin a romance.

I also love how the authors are gradually giving us some small glimpses into both their pasts. Those irritating and prickly personality quirks I just mentioned start making perfect sense when we see some of the awful things they've both been through. My tolerance for their quirks is a real trial sometimes, but I'm starting to understand how complex they both are with those glimpses into their past.

Last night when I was reading, there was one poignant moment that stood out for me:

Zane smiled, noticing the way Ty's accent was stronger and his grammer was worse when he was irritated. The more he got to know him, the more obvious it was becoming that a lot of Ty Grady was a façade -- or layers of several masks. Zane wasn't sure if he would ever see the real man, and it made him slightly sad. He thought he would really like the real man.

Then we're thrown back to the investigation. But that momentary pause as Zane takes in the totality of what's happening is crucial to their investigation. Are these two men going to be able to manage the double-layered relationship they have? Will their relationship as investigators be affected by their emerging romantic relationship? And vice versa?

Like I say, I'm only halfway through this book but I'm enjoying the hell out of it so far.

If you have any comments, please remember not to drop any spoilers if you've read it. I wanna see how this thing unfolds, even if it is ever so slowly -- which in my opinion is how any good mystery thriller (and sometimes romances) should unfold.

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My Summer of Missy

This is just a shout out to one of my fave MM romance authors, the one, the only, Missy Welsh!

Her book, My Summer of Wes, was the very first MM romance book I ever read. It was published about 3 months after I turned 18, and holds a special place in my heart. It told the story of two young guys who were very capable of falling in Love (with a capital L) and it gave both Brad and I a sense that if Mal and Wes could tackle the challenges, then maybe we could, too.

Missy is celebrating the anniversary of her book's publication, and we'd like to add our Happy Anniversary to her two boys, Mal and Wes!

Here's the post where I talked about her book in a little more detail: Click here.

And you can head over to Missy's blog to read the blurb and an excerpt: Blurb & Excerpt.

She also wrote a post on her blog celebrating the book's publication: Missy's blog post.

Happy Anniversary, Mal & Wes! (And thank you, Missy)

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Remember Those Summer Reading Lists?

I was talking to a friend of mine a few weeks ago about the books we've been reading over the summer and I was telling him the titles of the three books I'm currently working my way through. He looked at me like I was looney.

"Three books? You're reading three books at the same time?"

"Yeah. I always have at least three books going during the summer."

"Three?"

"Yeah. You know. One. Two. Three."

After explaining the method to my madness, I think he finally understood and decided I hadn't gone off my rocker. Well, he's always thought I'm a little off my rocker, but he seemed reassured that I hadn't done any more damage than is already there! ;-)

For some reason summer has always been a time to bury my nose in two or three books at once. Maybe this goes back to those inevitable Summer Reading lists we had to get through for school.

When I was a little kid, we had to keep a list of all the books we read during the summer and would turn it in when school began the next term. I remember my mom explaining it wasn't a contest and I had to slow down so I could take in the story being told.

Plus she explained something I've never forgotten. She said something like, "Books are like special friends. You can't show disrespect to them by rushing through the story. When a friend is trying to talk to you, you should always pay attention to what they're saying."

Well. The part of my brain that controls attention and concentration is not made like that. I tried to slow down. Couldn't do it. Didn't work. Plus I already had three or four really good friends and I could pay attention to all of them at once. I didn't see why I had to just concentrate on one friend at a time, whether they were friends of the human kind or friends of the book kind.

So when I was little and people asked me what I was reading, I would only name one book. Everybody seemed pleased with that answer but inside I secretly worried that the other books I was also reading would have hurt feelings because I didn't name them. Silly, I know. But that's how my brain worked.

Now that I'm an adult I still hesitate to tell others that I usually have two or three books going at the same time. The reason now is that I usually have to go into this explanation about yes, I can keep all the characters straight. And, yes, all the right characters stay in their own book and don't cross over into another story.

And, yes, somehow I seem to keep everybody straight, like in one book "Eric" is vacationing with "Marc" in Italy while "Eric" is still daydreaming about "Tom" back in New York while "Tom" is thinking about that time he dated "Marc" when they were in Hawaii and had that big flare-up over "Jon" when they went drinking and dancing.

Meanwhile, in another book, "Josh" is hoping "Greg" will finally realize he's really gay so "Greg" can stop pretending he has the hots for "Cindy" which will allow "Cindy" to be free to return to "Jeff" who is actually the love of her life. Then "Josh" and "Greg" can go visit "Greg's" mom "Lucille" in Wyoming who just dumped "Roger"... etc., etc., etc.

Anyway, I thought I'd share the three books I have going right now. These are not reviews since I haven't finished them. Well, the third book is one I'm rereading and I've already discussed it in the past.

Book #1: Show Me Yours, by Kaje Harper

Here's the blurb:

Josh and Trey have been friends since they were kids, but Josh moved away when they were both seventeen. Their bond has been thinned by distance, by the weight of secrets withheld and a trust betrayed. For years now they've only exchanged short emails and occasional calls, over too many miles to cross. Trey's been willing to live with that, even encouraged it. Because letting Josh get close again might make keeping Trey's secrets impossible.

When Josh shows up on Trey's doorstep with a request for help, it could well be an unmitigated disaster. But Trey finds he can't say no. This is Josh asking Trey to lend a hand. Josh, the guy who still pushes every other man Trey ever looked at to second place. So Trey's going to take the chance and say yes. He's going to grab a few days with the straight guy he never stopped loving, take what crumbs he can get, and damn the consequences. Although those consequences may not turn out to be the ones Trey's expecting.

Book #2: Zombielicious, by Timothy McGivney

Here's the blurb:

Amidst a zombie outbreak, Walt, athletic and confident, meets shy and quiet Joey, the attraction between them both instant and electric. With strength in numbers, they band together alongside fellow survivors; Jill, an ex-porn star turned nurse who's made a startling discovery about her past; Ace, a disgruntled security guard who just can't live up to certain short comings; and Molly, the fiery redhead unwilling to give up on her dreams of stardom. In this apocalyptic new world of the dead, an anything-goes attitude has become the law of the land and lust, betrayal, true love and redemption are all just a gunshot away.

Rainbow Award Winner 2011--Best Gay Debut Novel/Book
Rainbow Award Winner 2011--Best Gay Paranormal/Horror

Book #3: Clear Water, by Amy Lane
(This is my third reread and one of my all-time favorites)

Here's the blurb:

Meet Patrick Cleary party boy, loser, and spaz. Patrick's been trying desperately to transform himself, and the results have been so spectacular, they've almost killed him. Meet Wes "Whiskey" Keenan he's a field biologist wondering if it's time to settle down. When the worst day of Patrick's life ends with Whiskey saving it, Patrick and Whiskey find themselves sharing company and an impossibly small berth on the world's tackiest houseboat.
Patrick needs to get his life together-and Whiskey wants to help-but Patrick is not entirely convinced it's doable. He's pretty sure he's a freak of nature. But Whiskey, who works with real freaks of nature, thinks all Patrick needs is a little help to see the absolute beauty inside his spastic self, and Whiskey is all about volunteering. Between anomalous frogs, a homicidal ex-boyfriend, and Patrick's own hangups, Whiskey's going to need all of his patience and Patrick's going to need to find the best of himself before these two men ever see clear water.

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So, what about you? Are you reading three books at the same time?!

Or, what three books have you read so far this summer?

Or, what are you reading now? Share away!

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Book Recommendation: "Seasons of Love" by Carol Lynne

I came across this series recently when I was chatting with my friend "Susan 65" in one of the Goodreads groups. She said she thought I might enjoy the four books in this series, and boy was she right.

 This series would make great summer reading. Something you'd take to the beach or on vacation. If you're looking for intense angst that keeps you on the edge of your seat, you won't find it here. There are periods of angst, but you're not going to have a mental breakdown waiting to see how (or if) things get resolved.

From the blurb: On the day of his mother’s funeral, ten-year old Sidney Wilks is silently comforted by the presence of one man, ranch hand Grady Nash. Little did Sidney know that Nash would become the only stable figure in his life for the next forty years.

We quickly get through Sidney's early childhood with enough important information that will be critical to the rest of the series. Each book gives us a look at how these two men create a relationship as they deal with situations and events that define who they are individually and who they are as a couple.

There are a number of episodes of angst as they deal with various challenges, and some of these challenges make you start wondering how (or if) they're going to get resolved. I will say this about the angst. You're not going to find the kind of intense and unrelenting anxiety that makes you worry about having a mental breakdown.

 One of the reasons I loved this series is because it's about these two characters who begin their first relationship with another man, and we get to see them through forty years of their life together. Even though the specific plot circumstances are very different from my own life, it was interesting to see how these two men dealt with various challenges as they were creating a life together. Their world together is very small in the beginning, and as the series continues we get to see how they end up creating a much larger world, a world that is all about the meaning of "family."

In the last book, we begin with Sidney and Nash having been together for eighteen years. Of course since this is the last book, we're getting ready to see how they to deal with some issues neither of them ever realized they'd have to deal with. The book ends with their forty-year relationship, and you'd think by this time they would have worked out everything that could possibly come up, right? At least that was how I was feeling. But, as we all know (and I'm quickly learning), issues emerge when you're in your fifties and sixties that you never thought you'd have to face when you're a young adult.

Brad and I have talked about how the beginning of our relationship (which we still think we're in) has involved some pretty big challenges. Well, one of the reasons I like this series is the chance to see how a couple who've been married long-term now discover how this period of their life might involve some of the hardest work they've ever done.

As a side note, the sex scenes are some of the best written I've come across. Nothing is to excess and it doesn't go on for pages and pages with silly, worn out, and over used cliché language. When they have sex, you always get to see what it means to both of them and, equally important, how they are subtly changed by the intimacy.

I ended up feeling like I had been on the journey with them and got a preview of some things Brad and I might might be dealing with as we continue our own journey.

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Book Recommendation: Something Like Summer

First the blurb, then my thoughts:

Love, like everything in the universe, cannot be destroyed. But over time it can change.

The hot Texas nights were lonely for Ben before his heart began beating to the rhythm of two words: Tim Wyman. By all appearances, Tim had the perfect body and ideal life, but when a not-so-accidental collision brings them together, Ben discovers that the truth is rarely so simple. If winning Tim’s heart was an impossible quest, keeping it would prove even harder as family, society, and emotion threaten to tear them apart.

Something Like Summer is a love story spanning a decade and beyond as two boys discover what it means to be friends, lovers, and sometimes even enemies.
Here's what I thought:
 I made the mistake of finishing this book when I was in the campus library last semester. When I say "mistake" I'm referring to how I was all over the place emotionally after reading the last few pages.

That's not necessarily a bad thing for me when I read a book that has a meaningful story to tell. It was just that I had a class to go to next and I knew it was going to be difficult for me to concentrate since I wanted to think about the story and try and sort through all my feelings. It was one of those times I wish I had somebody to talk to about the book. Instead, I was headed to my calculus class, where I knew I'd have to get super-focused on numbers and calculations! Uggghhhhh!

The plot was not always predictable, and I think that made the storyline that much better. While I was reading it, I felt all kinds of things... sometimes I would laugh out loud, then get really sad, then start cheering, then get really mad, then I'd be sitting on the edge of my chair...

I thought the characters were well written and I had all kinds of feelings about each one of them. At the end of the story I still had some reservations about one of the characters (Tim), but I really like books like this where I don't necessarily like every single person because, as in this case, I think it makes the story have more depth.

This book really sold me on the author's ability to write good characters, good plot with lots of twists and turns, and an ending I was not expecting.

We end up with a HEA ending, but for a while I wasn't sure that's where it was headed. I think Tim, the character I had a hard time liking, loved Ben all along, but something was going on inside him all the way through, some kind of issue about whether he was gay or not.

At the end I wanted to shout at Ben something like, "Please be careful. Give it some time and keep your eyes open." I just felt so protective of Ben. I do think Ben had a good head on his shoulders, so I don't know why I felt so protective.

Endings like this, where any number of things could play out, always make the reading more interesting to me. It's like I have to think more after the last page, so in my head the story stays alive, if that makes sense.

Definitely a book I'm going to reread.

And now there's word from the author's website that Something Like Summer is being made into a movie. Can't wait to see it.

Here's a link to Jessewave where there's an interview with the author about the movie.

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BREAKING NEWS: It's Number ONE!

We interrupt this blog to bring you BREAKING NEWS.

Do not be alarmed! Stay calm! Keep breathing! We have the situation under control. Please follow instructions from the authorities and everything will be fine!

BROADCAST ANNOUNCER:~~clearing throat~~: The authorities have just learned from reliable sources (those cute and adorable bloggers from Boston, Matty and Bradley) that one of their big brothers, Vicktor Alexander, is now officially a Number One Best Selling author!

The authorities have also learned that the same author has a second book in the Top Ten.

We are please to report that the Number One book, Unthinkable, can be found at the ARe (All Romance ebooks) site, which can be found at: http://www.allromanceebooks.com/.

The authorities feel the reading public needs to know, in the interest of full disclosure, that the sources for this Breaking News, (the above mentioned cute and adorable bloggers from Boston) are mentioned in the author's Dedication to the book, along with some other wonderful people.

Since the authorities believe in the public's need for complete and accurate information, we are quoting the blurb in full:

Richard Tillson was happy with his life...well...sort of. He has spent the last few years of his life making a name for himself in the dance community, has a very expensive apartment in Manhattan and he knows he's gorgeous. So why is he so miserable? 

Enter Vernon "Vet" Tate. The older brother of Richard's best friend Amanda Lynn. The first time the two men meet it's when Vet is saving Richard's life from an oncoming vehicle. Moments later Vet is turning Richard's life upside down by telling him that his baby sister, who had passed weeks before, left her three newborn children to Richard, to share custody with Vet.
Things wouldn't have been so bad for Vet if Richard wasn't also his mate, his very human mate.
So how will Richard cope with becoming a father, giving up his sophisticated New York lifestyle for a ranch out in Wichita Falls, Texas, and finding out that not only do shape shifters exist, but he's the mate of the Alpha?

BROADCAST ANNOUNCER: The second book, Inconceivable, is currently at number 8, and again the authorities want to disclose that the Boston Boys are also mentioned in the book's Dedication. The blurb for this book is also quoted in full:

Tommy Wilkins, a.k.a. "Tammy Walks" was happy with his life as one of the highest paid drag queen performers in New York City. He had a gorgeous apartment in Greenwich Village, men throwing themselves at his feet and he had lots of money in the bank. He didn't need the family that shunned him, the boyfriend that used to beat the hell out of him or even the gorgeous sexy linebacker looking Texan cowboy, named Anton "Ton" Forrester, that his friend Richard introduced him too. All he needed was himself.

But Ton wasn't going to give up so easily because you see, Tommy is his mate, and he wants all of him, makeup, heels, dresses and costumes included. He wants to heal every scar and make the smaller man believe in love again.

There's only one problem, someone is determined to keep the two men apart, even if they have to kill Tommy to do so.

The specific link to Unthinkable is: http://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-unthinkable-660942-139.html

The specific link to Inconceivable is: http://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-inconceivable-660948-140.html

The authorities wish to inform the reading public that everything will be under control by following this simple instruction: Follow the links provided above and check this out.

Thank you. That is all.

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Stretching My Sexual Fantasies

This is a little freaky to write about, but, hey, it my (our) blog and we get to talk about freaky stuff if we want to, right? ;)

I've been talking to Matty about this a lot and he's been incredibly helpful (and I think it's been kinda turning him on, too, which is an added bonus for both of us!).

Since Matty and I moved in together, we've, well, been having lots of sex. I mean, lots. Lots! Lots more than when we were both living separately at home with our parents and sibs. I started having this worry that I'd loose all interest in books or at least not have any time to read anymore. You know, the real thing is always better than reading about other people having sex!

A while back I joined a group over at Goodreads called Kindle Smut. This is the first group I've joined that is not devoted exclusively to gay or MM interests. There's all kinds of books being discussed from MF to MMF to MFM to MMMMF to MMMMMMFFF -- well, you get the idea! and I like the fact that they also have discussions on MM and gay books, too. And the discussions over there are a lot of fun to read and and participate in and the people are incredibly friendly.

When I introduced myself, I said I was gay and have a boyfriend, etc. I'm always open about my sexual orientation because it's something I'm happy about and is an important part of who I am. I also wanted people in the group to know that from the beginning so they would understand where I was coming from when I talked about my tastes in books.

I got this really warm welcome and people were making all kinds of recommendations of books I might be interested in. I said I really liked to read about cowboys having sex and someone replied that she also liked reading about cowboys having sex, too, but liked there to be a girl involved, but she understood why I liked "...wanting the girl cooties out of the picture, lol."

I was a little bit surprised at myself when I replied, "...well, I'm slowly getting curious about those 'girl cooties.' Just haven't had the chance to read anything yet with girls in it to see if I might like it. But (for me) there absolutely has to have a guy or guys involved." Then they started making all these recommendations of books that were about MMF, in addition to some that were MM.

Like I said, I was surprised I made the reply that I was curious about books that involved sex with girls. It was one of those things that just popped in my brain and my fingers started typing it!! I mean, it's not like I've ever seriously thought about this. I think it was just their openness about sexual situations that were way different from what I'm use to thinking about.

So I started thinking about it some more and then I looked and noticed my Kindle started downloading some MMF books! How'd that happen? LOL. Well, since they were just sitting there on my Kindle, I thought maybe I'd just take a quick peek and do some research on what other people in the group were reading. I mean, I wanted to be a good member and have a good understanding of where other people were coming from, right?

Well. The book I took a peek at was these two bi guys who are married to each other. The sex they are having is incredibly hot and steamy and I liked reading about their lives together. It was not "all-sex all the time." I like reading books where there's a storyline that's interesting and has some depth to it. The careers of these two guys was interesting to read about and you could tell there was a lot of substance and love in their lives together.

Well, I won't give away the whole storyline, except to say they both fall in love with this woman who works for both of them. The woman is in an abusive and violent relationship with a man, and these two guys rescue her from that and invite her to live with them. They are so loving and caring with her and give her months and months to recover from the abuse that's been part of her life.

Even though they fell in love with her before she moved in with them, they never, ever take advantage of how vulnerable she is. They comfort her and help her regain her self-esteem. They convince her to go get medical care after all the physical abuse she's been through.

The woman is finally getting her feet back on the ground and realizes that she's falling in love with both of these men. She had always made the assumption they were gay and is convinced the closest she will ever get to anything sexual with them is when she sometimes listens to them having sex in their bedroom.  It's not until almost halfway into the book that one thing leads to another and the guys tell her they are bi. Well, they all three eventually confess their love for each other and we come to the first sexual scene.

Oh. My. God. The sex is about the hottest I've read about in a while. There is so much love, compassion, tenderness and regard for each other that my "horny meter" went to maximum capacity. And I have to say that I got about as horny as you can get not only from reading about the actual sex between these three, but also from imagining I was there as the fourth partner!

And that's the freaky part I was referring to in the first sentence of this post. And not freaky in a bad way. Not at all. Just freaky in the sense that I never in my wildest dreams or fantasies imagined I would be turned on -- I mean really turned on -- imagining myself being right in the middle of this kind of scene! There's also some mild "dom/sub" going on, too, and yes, I was turned on by that also. Imagine!

So, am I really all gay, like I thought? Am in bi? Am I gay/bi, or bi/gay? It's a lot to think about. And fun to think about. And the answer to the question about whether I'm "really gay" is "YES." I have no doubt about that. Nothing about that has changed and I haven't had any sudden "awakening" that I'm really bi. And no, I have no intention of wanting to change anything about my relationship with Matty. None of this is any threat to what we have. Absolutely no threat at all. I'm just having a blast stretching my sexual fantasies.

Kinda freaky. Kinda fun. And when "freaky" and "fun" are combined, well, my "horny meter" goes wild! Which means Matty and I are having even more sex than usual. And it's more wild. And more hot. And more..... well, you get the picture. 

Oh, in case you're interested, the book is:

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Horny & Hyper on the Loose

I was bored a couple of weeks ago and looking for a good read that would help me get focused. I mentioned elsewhere in the blog that I was diagnosed with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) when I was a little kid. I won't go into all the details again, but it's always been hell for me when I'm bored. My brain is always looking for something to lock in on and I have to be aware that I can be somewhat annoying to others when I'm bored.

So, when I'm by myself and bored, I sometimes head on over to Google and start typing away. I'm like a heat-seeking missile (oh wait, that's what Brad sometimes calls my dick ... see how easily distracted I can get!!) trying to zero in on something interesting.

So, just out of wild and idle curiosity I headed over to a publisher where I've bought some books before. I landed on the website of Loose-id Publishers and on a wild hunch, I typed in "ADHD" in their search engine. I wasn't seriously expecting anything, but what do you know, this book popped up! I couldn't believe it! Here's what the brief blurb said before I sent the site my money:

         Max has always been edgy and moody, the poster boy for ADHD. The two constants in his life  were his big brother and his crush, his brother’s best friend. With his brother gone, Max wants to come out to Daniel...if only Daniel will cooperate.

Whoa! "...edgy and moody..." I've been called that when the Hyper Demon is in charge!

"...the poster boy for ADHD..." Well, put my mug shot there!

So, I was a little excited on the one hand but also a little apprehensive on the other. I mean, excited because I'd never imagined a M/M romance story where the leading character had ADHD. A little apprehensive because I wondered if the story was going to highlight his ADHD and make fun of him.

So I looked up the author's bio and read that she "...spends her time writing, editing, raising adolescents, taking care of an elderly mother, and dealing with a hyperactive husband (he says he's just very energetic)."

Okay, so maybe this is going to be cool. The author apparently has (at least that's how I read it) a husband with some type of attention disorder. So, maybe she'll treat the kid (he just started college) with some sympathy or compassion.

Well, I think she succeeded. She doesn't over-emphasize his hyperactivity and the character (named "Max," what else?) really grabs your heart.

So, image that! Being bored this time really payed off. My heat-seeking missile hit it's target. This is a relatively short story (only about 70 pages) and I ended up falling for Max. Here's the rest of the blurb:

Max knows his family and friends aren’t sure what to make of his moods and impulses. But he’s in college now and ready to show them he’s grown up and ready to make mature choices. At least he’s ready for a serious relationship and almost ready to tell his family he’s gay. He could use a little help, though.

With his loving big brother gone forever, who is left to ask for help? Daniel Rocco, his brother’s best friend and his longtime crush, of course. Daniel is solid and reliable--the opposite of Max. But for some reason, Daniel seems terrified of what Max might do next.

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Being Gay and Out in High School

A friend of mine told me about this book, recommended it and said it was very powerful. Neither Matt nor I have read it, but we were wondering if anybody here has read it and can comment on it. Since neither of us are still in high school, we're not that compelled to buy it. But, it does sound like an important book for teens who are in high school and gay.


Here's the blurb:

What is it like to be "out" in high school today? Is homophobia still rampant, or have things changed? How do the reactions of students, teachers, administrators, and families affect the out gay student?

A Vigil for Joe Rose is a collection of stories told with empathy and humour about the experience of being out in high school. As a unified collection, these eight short stories and a novella chart the journey of the main characters from first coming out to their growth into confident young gay men, and the challenges, triumphs, and losses along the way.

Here's the website where you can get more info:
http://joerose.jigsy.com/

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Summer Book Award: Favorite M/M Romance

With summer fast approaching, we both decided to reread one of our all time favorite books. And, the decision to select this book was unanimous! So, without further ado, we're announcing to the world that our selection for Favorite M/M Romance Book for 2011 is:

My Summer of Wes

by Missy Welch

In the interest of full disclosure, I (Matt) have had some chatting with Missy on the website Goodreads.com. Plus, we've exchanged some e-mails back and forth. I told her we wanted to review this book and would let her know when it went up. She wrote back and encouraged us to give an honest review, both good and bad. No if, ands, or buts.

We were over at Missy's home page (Missy Welch) recently and were reminded all over again how pleasurable and important this book was, and is, to us. That's right, "important." When I (Matt) decided to buy the book, I had no idea at the time it would become an important book. I was just barely old enough to legally read it when it was published. I turned eighteen in May 2010 and her book was published 3 months later. Whew! Just in the nick of time!

I had just met Brad and we were early in our relationship and hadn't had sex at that point. What had happened, however, was that we were falling in love -- or had fallen in love (I mean, how do you measure these things?).

This was the first erotic story I had ever read, and, to be honest, I was just looking for some well-written sex. I thought I was going to be reading some sizzling hot porn story and nothing else. I sorta ignored the "blurb" which talked about the storyline. I mean, the cover of the book told me everything I was looking for was in this book.

Well, let me say I like porn as well as anybody, but I had only seen the stuff you get on the internet. Oh, and a buddy of mine had discovered his older brother's stash of DVD porn and I had watched that. These two sources of porn had satisfied me well enough for all the obvious reasons, but internet porn and my buddy's brother's vids didn't have an interesting storyline. Plus, the vids my buddy had were all hetero.

So, in the interest of self-education (!), I felt I owed it to myself to see the story leading to the sex. My parents always emphasized the importance of education, so, why not educate myself on how other guys go about the sex thing? And the guys in the book were about my age (one is 18 and the other is 24). Prior to meeting Brad, I had only kissed a few guys (none more than once) and touched a few body parts (thoroughly covered with clothes!).

After reading the relatively short first chapter, I realized I had been crying. Very unlike me -- both to cry as I'm reading, and not even realizing I had some tears going down my face. What the hell was going on? I mean, I didn't totally identify with either of the two characters at this point. Mal, the eighteen-year-old, didn't even realize he was gay (at least he wasn't realizing it yet), and he had been horribly bullied in high school. I came out when I was 16 and was beaten up once by a gang of assholes, but nothing like what Mal had endured.

And, I never knew anybody like the other character, Wes. He came out when he was a teen and had always been totally confident and self-assured and comfortable. He didn't go around shouting in everybody's face he was gay, but just lived his life without hiding anything. He always stood his ground if anybody had an issue with it, and had this "presence" about him that told others that if they wanted to mess with him, bring it on.

I loved how the story unfolded. I mean, it was probably 5 or 6 chapters into the story before there's any sex. Wes, the older one, was totally amazing in how he never, ever pressured Mal into anything. Mal insisted he was not gay, and even though you get the feeling Wes knows he is, he totally, I mean totally, respects Mal and never once pushes the issue. Things just unfold at a very natural pace.

I think what affected me emotionally about Wes was how much integrity he had. He's the kind of guy you want around if you're unsure about your sexual orientation. Nothing is forced -- there's no condensation -- there's total respect for where you are. I'd also say he's the kind of guy you want around whether you're gay or straight or bi or whatever. A totally awesome friend!

Both Brad and I had this powerful emotional reaction toward Mal. He talks about the extent of the bullying (really violence is more like it) he endured while in high school. When we we talking about our feelings toward Mal, we both said how angry we felt at all the guys abusing him throughout school. I wanted to jump into the book and start hunting down all the assholes who hurt him.

The other emotional reaction we had toward Mal was watching how he very slowly at first came to trust Wes. I mean, this was the first friend the guy had ever had in his whole life! You just want to jump in and be his second and third friend. You wanted to surround him with all the love you have and be there for him every step of the way.

So, who was the hero of the story? Well, they both were. Mal deserves so much credit for risking everything to find himself -- his true self -- and to find love for the first time in his life. Wes deserves so much credit for his total integrity and for very slowly showing and giving Mal love, with a capital L.

The other thing that was so powerful about this book is the erotica. When we both first read this book, it was the first story we had ever read with very explicit sex scenes. I have to say here for the record that I wouldn't let Brad read the book after I finished. He was still seventeen at the time and there's this scary and stern warning on the title page that all sorts of bad things might happen if you show it to somebody under eighteen! I gave him his own copy on his eighteenth birthday. I certainly didn't want to contribute to corrupting the morals of a minor!! {ouch! another "love shove" from Brad!}

In terms of the erotica, at first Wes takes the lead and everything is initiated by him, with total respect for how Mal might be reacting. As Mal gradually discovers his true self, he starts initiating things. When you read the scenes where Mal starts initiating the affection and sex, I started having tears running down my face while at the same time having this incredibly intense personal sexual reaction. I gotta say, we both got a good education on all the different ways and scenes that are possible sexually when you truly love someone.

So, is this book "porn"? Not by our definition. It seems to us that porn needs very little storyline. And porn is all about the sex. You never get any clues about who these people are, what their story is, nothing. It's all about the sex, and the storyline is irrelevant. The purpose of porn is just to get turned on watching other people have sex and then to get off. Hey, nothing basically wrong or bad about that. I mean, we both have our little stash of porn vids now and they serve their purpose.

We started this review by saying that My Summer of Wes was an important book for both of us. It tells the story of how Mal comes to know his true self and to trust another person after years of horrible abuse. It tells the story of how Wes lives that life once you know your true self and how to truly and fully love another person.

After reading this book, I did a lot of hard thinking. I did some writing in this journal thing I keep about my life and somehow came up with two "guiding principles" for my life, both coming out of a reading of this book: (1), Always be true to yourself (which involves discovering your true self), and (2), Always be honest with others. The first principle came from Mal as he seems on this search to discover who he really is. Wes has already discovered himself. The second principle is initially from Wes. Throughout the book, Wes truly lives both principles. After Mal discovers his true self, he then begins moving into the second principle.

So, for us, this is a book about several things. How to discover your true self. How to trust another person and take all the risk involved in that. How to integrate love and sex into this totally beautiful gift. Most importantly to us, however, it's about hope. And isn't that ultimately what life is all about?

(If you'd like to comment on Missy's book or this review, please feel free. Also feel free to share your own favorite M/M Romance book.)

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Summer Book Award: Favorite General Fiction

When I first read this book, I had already read the author's Rainbow High series about these high school guys (two are gay and one is bi) who are going through school dealing with all kinds of issues: one who is openly gay, one who is trying to figure out whether he's gay and one is trying to figure out whether he's gay or bi. I liked the series a lot because in many ways I could identify with some of their struggles, both internal and with other classmates. The Rainbow books seemed to be written specifically for a high school audience or people who enjoyed reading books for this age-group. They are fun to read and you can just breeze right through them.

However, the book I decided to select as my Favorite General Fiction for 2011 is by the same author:

Bait

by Alex Shanchez

This book is written in a very different tone than the Rainbow series. It's much more serious in tone and you almost get the feeling it's a different author from the high school books.

It's really hard to talk about this book without giving away the whole story. I'll try though.

The lead character is this 16 year old kid named Diego who is always managing to get into some serious trouble at school. Diego (who is straight) thinks one of his gay classmates looked at him "funny" one day and Diego gets into this really bad fight with him. Diego has a history of trouble already following him and this incident is the last straw. Charges are filed against him and he ends up on probation. 

Even though Diego is clearly in the wrong here, you start getting this feeling there's more to his story that might explain why he has this anger problem. He absolutely won't open up to anybody about what's really going on.

Well, he gets assigned to this really cool Probation Officer named Vidas, and Diego slowly starts trusting him... I mean, very slowly trusting him. Diego eventually asks his PO if he can meet with him once a week to "just talk," which is very different from any probationer Vidas has ever had.

Vidas is very patient and understanding and eventually Diego starts talking about this recurring dream he's been having about a shark in the ocean and Diego being the "bait." This dream holds the key to everything going on with him.

One day in the mall, Diego happens to run into his PO with his partner (yes, his PO is gay) and their child. Man, you hold your breath worrying about whether this is going to be a deal breaker for the progress they've been making. I won't say anything more and I hope I haven't given away too much.

You really don't know till close to the end whether Diego is going to make it or not. All I can say is this is a VERY powerful and emotionally draining book, and I mean the "draining" part in a good way. I mean, you feel like you've been on this almost dangerous journey with Diego and you start getting inside his head like you're going through this with him.

All I can say in summary is, if you want to read about an extremely brave and courageous kid and a Probation Officer who renews your faith in the goodness of the human spirit, grab this book! It's fast-moving and an easy read, though the subject matter is very heavy.

Feel free to comment on your favorite general fiction book. And be sure to stay stuned tomorrow as we both agreed on our Favorite M/M Romance Book!

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Summer Book Award: Favorite General Fiction

Brad and I picked different books for our Favorite General Fiction. Brad will have his review up tomorrow.

My selection for Favorite General Fiction for 2011 is:

What They Always Tell Us

by Martin Wilson

In the interest of being totally upfront, the author and I exchanged a few emails months ago after I first read his book. If the tone of his emails accurately reflect the author's personality, he seems like a really nice and decent human being. He also had no idea I was going to be reviewing his book, so he didn't in any way try to influence what I might say.

I've been reading a lot of fast-paced novels that are more adventure-oriented, so this was a totally refreshing change of pace. This is a very character-based story and, because of that, moves at a slower, and I might add, more graceful pace than a lot of books out there right now.

Without giving away the storyline, the story goes back and forth between two teenage brothers over the course of a year and the change that comes over them during that time.


Being gay myself, I found myself wanting more of Alex's chapters (he's the brother who is coming to terms with being gay) and less of James' which I know is very selfish. I think this is because I identified with him more. The romance in his part (with Nathan, another student in his school) was written in a way that you could use your total imagination to fill in what the author only hinted at. It was so very sweet watching Alex fall in love with this hot guy in school, and watching how they gradually and subtly fell in love.


The author spends a lot of time making his characters fully three-dimensional and he did a great job of conveying a lot of emotions subtly. Like I said before, it's a slow-paced quiet book and it's one that I found myself dying to get back to in between intervals of reading.


Two characters that are a constant in the story are a young boy named Henry and his mysterious mother who live across the street. There's a whole sub-plot mystery going on with them which was fun to read. The young boy was a great inclusion into the book because he befriended both of the brothers and helped them change over the year. I don't know, I just really liked his character -- very smart and perceptive.


Overall, a wonderful coming-of-age story as well as a story about identity and the struggle at that age to find your place in your family and the world at large. Rumor has it that Wilson has a second book coming out this year or next. I'll definitely snap it up quickly.

We'd now like to hear from you about your favorite general fiction book. It doesn't have to have a gay-theme necessarily, but it would be nice if it did. Maybe you could even write a short summary of why you picked it as your favorite general fiction book.

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Summer Book Award: Favorite NON-FICTION

We mentioned a week ago that we wanted to highlight some of the books we've read over the past year. Since we're not professional book reviewers, we wanted to put our own twist on what would qualify as a Favorite book. We thought we would select books in three categories (Non Fiction, General Fiction and M/M Erotic Fiction) and then talked about how we related to the book, what it meant to us personally and how we have possibly changed as a result of our reading.

We both voted to name this book as our FAVORITE NON FICTION BOOK FOR 2011:

BOYS LIKE US: Gay Writers Tell Their Coming out Stories

(ed., Patrick Merla), Avon Books: NY: 1996

We liked what the editor, Patrick Merla, said in his Introduction to these stories:

"Coming out" is the central event of a gay man's life. It is at once an act of self-acknowledgment, self-acceptance, self-affirmation, and self-revelation intimately linked to how he views himself and how he interacts with the world... So much is at stake that the way in which a man comes out can reverberate throughout his entire life, whether the response to his disclosure is positive, negative, or neutral."

This is an incredible collection of coming out stories written by 29 well-known gay authors. Neither of us knew all the names, and only Matt has read one of the authors (Michael Nava, who is a Mexican-American mystery writer featuring a gay Chicano lawyer named Henry Rios).

Some author names we've heard of are Edmund White, Allan Gurganus, Andrew Holleran, Christopher Bram, Scott Heim and  Stephen McCauley.

Some of the authors remember their first sexual experience (or experimentation) when they were young pre-teens with other boys at summer camp. Some are when the men are in their later teens, their twenties or their thirties.

Some wrote about coming out to their parents, siblings or co-workers. Some are humorous, some are serious and a few are heartbreaking. Many of the stories are highly erotic (and explicit) as they remember their first sexual encounter with a college roommate or a buddy during a weekend sleepover.

The time range for the stories is from the early 1940s to the mid-1990s. It was interesting to us to read what life was like for gay men back in the 1940s. About how difficult it was to really know what all your sexual feelings meant. What struck us was how dangerous it could be if anyone found out you not only wanted to have sex with a man, but wanted to even create a life together, if that was even possible. In spite of how alone these men felt, we both admired their determination to understand their desire and need to find other men like them.

One of the men in 1961 was required by his university to see a psychiatrist as a condition to continue as a student. Other men recall worrying about police entrapment if they went to a bar "frequented" (!) by gay men.

One writer talks about a friend who couldn't "conceive of coming out to himself because he had never been in the closet."

One writer concluded that "Being gay was not the problem. Everything else was the problem -- the pressure, the opprobrium, the future, the double life."

It was so exhilarating to read these words as one man finally understood what his desire and need was about: "I put my hands all over him, took in a sudden rush of air, and became the man I was meant to be."

Many of the stories written in the 1980s and 1990s had a different feel to them. In many ways times had changed, or were changing. The contrast between coming out in the 1940s with the present time are so striking. In many ways this is a history of a whole culture neither of us knew much about.

We both related to how incredibly important it is to come to terms with who you really are. It is amazing to us that many of these men had no role models and had to go through this incredibly difficult process of self-discovery on their own. Even today, with all the support we both had in coming out, it was still extremely difficult.

We both agreed that neither of us have any kind of true historical context to understand our own history as gay men. And that is our own fault. With books like this, documenting our history, we feel like we're on the way to understanding and claiming that history. For us, this is an important book and it's making us search for other books that document our history.

If you want to see how far we've come, read this book!

If you want to see how far we have to go, read this book!

We'd now like to hear from you about your favorite non fiction book. It doesn't have to have a gay-theme necessarily, but it would be nice if it did. Maybe you could even write a short summary of why you picked it as your favorite non fiction book.

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Summer Book Awards!

With summer fast approaching, the two of us have been thinking about what our summer reading is going to be about.

We both keep a list of books where we keep track of titles, authors and short impressions of what we've read. So, since we've been together for a whole year now (YAY!), we thought it would be fun to write a little something about what this year in reading has been like for the two of us.

After comparing lists we realized we had different opinions about a lot of them. However, we were in total agreement about others.

So, we thought it might be fun to list some of them and do a short review. Then we sorta got carried away (OK, Matt got carried away!) and came up with this idea of giving out "Awards" for the best ones. So, instead of doing what professional reviewers do (since we don't qualify for that), we decided to just look at everything we've read for the past 12 months and give a little "2 Boys In Love Book Award" to our favorites.

So, here's what we're gonna do starting next week. We decided to give a special award in a these categories:

Favorite General Fiction

Favorite Non-Fiction

Favorite M/M Erotic Fiction

When we make our awards in each category, we'd like to invite you to make your own award in that category and a short comment about why you liked it.

So, don't start handing out your awards just yet! We're gonna take the three categories one at a time, and that's when you can give out your award. Except for the last category listed above, the others don't necessarily have to have a LGBT theme. It would be nice if they did, but don't let that stop you from making your own award.

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